Ask Ling Xiaoyu!
by RukaStarr
Summary: *DISCONTINUED* Xiaoyu's new talk show! The Stupid Show with Cloud Strife err...Black Phoenix? Well, here she is to answer questions! *CHAPTER 11 UP!* WOOO HOO!
1. Ask Away!

Hey, I kept reading all these "Ask Blah-Blah Questions" fanfics, so I thought I'd try one...I'll make more for different sections, so here's...ASK LING XIAOYU!  
  
Xiaoyu: *Sits down and waves to camera* Hi!  
Black Phoenix: Welcome to the Stupid Show with Cloud Strife! Sadly, he's in Gold Saucer racing chocobos...Ahh well, I'm taking over! HAHAHA!  
  
Xiaoyu: Oh...So it should be the Stupid Show with Black Phoenix instead?  
Black Phoenix: Ahh...no. This show isn't stupid, so why call it that? Any ideas?  
  
Xiaoyu: Uhh...How about-  
  
Black Phoenix: Thought so. Well, this first letter comes from...  
  
  
Please Review! Ask Away, Please! Or else I owe Cloud my Black Chocobo, Zula!  
Zula: Wark. 


	2. First Five Questions!

Black Phoenix: I'm sorry I haven't reviewed. I was in the Philippines for my vacation! I played LOADS of Tekken 4...  
  
Xiaoyu: I'm the best!  
  
Black Phoenix: Yeah! You AND Jin!  
  
Xiaoyu: YAY! Well, our first question comes from...michelle! Here's what she writes:  
  
Hi Black Phoenix. Um, hi Zula. Listen, can you ask Ling Xiaoyu this?  
  
Question: Do you ever play sports???  
  
Well...that's all for now... Heehee...Please update soon. I'm craving for the next chapter.  
  
P.S. I'm not a Xiaoyu fan either! If you want to, you can check my fics out... I make Xiaoyu an idiot in them... In my humor fics, of course.  
  
Well, see ya around, Black Phoenix.  
  
michelle WaS here (sorry... you must be getting annoyed)  
  
Black Phoenix: Actually, I'm not annoyed at all. Just happy you wrote a review, michelle.  
  
Xiaoyu: I ain't no idiot! Anyway, I play soccer, basketball, uhh...fight, and Blitzball.  
  
Black Phoenix: Uhhh...Blitzball?  
  
Xiaoyu: Yeah! When you're gone, I sneak into your room, grab the PS2 and set it up in your mom's room, and play Blitzball!   
  
Black Phoenix: So THAT'S what happened to all that Gil! So much wasted for salaries...  
  
Xiaoyu: Yup. Next question is from KazuyaFan1:  
  
Here's a ?: Ling, what's your favorite brand of ketchup?  
  
Xiaoyu: Uhhh...it's ketchup...ummm...I guess Heinz ketchup to answer your question, KazuyaFan1.  
  
Kazuya: I have a fan!  
  
Xiaoyu: Good to know. Security!  
(Jin and Hwoarang walk out)   
  
Jin: Dad, this ISN'T the Jerry Springer Show. Try next door.  
  
Kazuya: Oh, alright...  
  
(Jin and Hwoarang grab Kazuya and throw him out the window)  
  
Black Phoenix: Thanks Jin! Hwoarang! *starry eyed*  
  
Jin: Later. *waves* (goes backstage)  
  
Xiaoyu: Anyway, onto the next question. This one's from The Digimon Queen.  
  
Lol, sounds funny. like some sort of "ask Ashley" thing..  
  
Question: Why do I dedicate songs to Videogame and Anime characters?  
  
Xiaoyu: Ask Ashley eh? All that's an old show, but still good. Most of the original people are gone now... As for your question...I have no clue. Inspiration or something maybe?  
  
Black Phoenix: OO! I know NextBigThing1! Azn-Ac (my cousin) and I ALWAYS read his fics and print 'em out! He loves the Why Law Bounces fic! Look Daddy, I'm Bruce Lee!  
  
Xiaoyu: Kikai, stop.  
  
Black Phoenix: Hey! Where'd you learn my family's nickname for me?  
  
Xiaoyu: Unnamed sources. *thumbs up to Jin* Anyway, the next question's from NextBigThing1. He writes:  
  
Heh heh heh, here's a question: If a batter hits a baseball out of the stadium, and the ball goes all the way around the world, reenters the stadium, and is caught by a fielder, is it an out or a home run?  
  
*NBT1*  
  
Black Phoenix: Uhhh...*scratches head* I don't know much of baseball...except outs, balls, hit by the pitch, strike, steal, home run, fouls, and blah.   
  
Xiaoyu: Oh boy, I wish Jin could help, but he's on his break. (monitor comes on)  
  
Jin: Okay Mr. Donut! Prepare for the ultimate penalty! Those donuts that rise against me and have no sprinkles shall drown! Hwoarang, prepare the pool of death!  
  
Hwoarang: You want decaf?  
  
Jin: With cream, please.  
  
Hwoarang: Here. *hands cup of coffee*  
  
Jin: Thank you. *ahem* NOW! Any last words? (as donut) Eat me! (as himself) Gladly! ::dunks donut into coffee and takes a bite:: Yum, cream filled.  
  
Xiaoyu and Black Phoenix: BWAHAHHAHHAAHAHAHAHAHA!!!  
  
Xiaoyu: Anyway ::wipes tear:: answer NextBigThing1's question. Hmmm...I'll guess...a home run that went out?  
  
Black Phoenix: I say an out that ran home.  
  
Xiaoyu: What are you thinking?!  
  
Black Phoenix: Happy Gilmore! Aren't you too good for your home? That's your home! Don't you wanna go home?  
  
Xiaoyu: And where exactly is the baseball's home?  
  
Black Phoenix: Beats me, it just sounded right.  
  
Xiaoyu: Oyyy...Last question for tonight...Prin Diddy asks:  
  
Teehee. This sounds cute. And I'm such a sucker for ling fics :0)  
  
Question: Okay, so I've been seeing this guy for awhile and he's such a sweetie but lately he's been pressuring me to have sex. I've never even thought about that and I don't feel I'm really ready but he keeps pressuring mr and it's making me feel pretty upset. So what is the sound of one hand clapping?  
  
Black Phoenix: This should go to Sally or Maury or even Jenny Jones! Xiaoyu?  
  
Xiaoyu: Hmm...tell him that you're not ready and how he makes you feel. If that doesn't work, either work something out with him (I hope not sex!) or just forget the guy. For the one hand clapping...uhh...one hand clapping makes me feel alone on the show...at least we have loyal fans here.  
  
Black Phoenix: That means I don't have to give up Zula!   
  
Cloud: (on PHS) Damn you and your reviews...  
  
Black Phoenix: Later! (hangs up)  
  
Xiaoyu: Thanks for the reviews and please ask questions! If we get enough, around 20 or more, we'll have a vote on which Tekken characters of your choice get to perform a commercial of our choice! Or maybe we'll let them make their own commercial!   
  
Black Phoenix: Four characters to a group please! There will be four groups competing against each other. So as you review, please insert your votes after your question, or before. I don't care!  
  
Xiaoyu: Don't be afraid to ask questions, and uhh...you'll probably get to see them act their stupidest! So...  
  
Xiaoyu and Black Phoenix: Please REVIEW!!! 


	3. Crushes, Kazuya, Naughty Secrets, and Sl...

Black Phoenix: Hi all! I just got back from Utah earlier and my sister's watching Osmosis Jones right now. She's only five, mind you. While on my trip, I was busy on my LONG Celebrity Deathmatch parody, Anime Rumble. It's been around since last year or so. This "episode" was Dynasty Warriors 3 stuff...hehe...Get Zhang He into the closet...Anyway, enough about that, this is the Tekken section, not Romance of the Three Kingdoms. Welcome to the Stupid Show with Black Phoenix!!!  
  
Xiaoyu: We heard enough about you. Now, onto the questions! This one isn't really a question, I see...Hey Black Phoenix! It's for you.  
  
Black Phoenix: Thanks...Hey! It's Yan! She writes:  
  
yAnAy  
  
hey ur da bezt! tyte review! da coolest! awesome!! terrific!!! ya know! u wanna read it even more! keep up da good job!!! da tyte job! da bezt of bezt!!! hehe :)  
  
Black Phoenix: Thanks Yan! I'll see you at school third period next week! Anyway, Our next question comes from Save-My-Soul. Oops, sorry Xiaoyu. That's your job.  
  
Xiaoyu: Thank you. Save-My-Soul writes:   
  
Um Sup',  
Hey Ling,Ping,Sing,Ding. Uh anyways so I wonder if you have read any of my fics and do you really have a crush on Kazuya?.  
  
-Love from the Gurl who needs a soul.  
  
Xiaoyu: I DO NOT HAVE A CRUSH ON KAZUYA! Where did you hear such a crazy thing? And yes, I have read your fics. Pretty good is what I say! Well, back to that crush thing...I do not have a crush on Kazuya Mishima, but I do like Jin and Hwoarang...Unlike Black Phoenix...She has the weirdest fantasies every night...sort of...  
  
Black Phoenix: Hey! Shut it!   
  
Xiaoyu: One night, she has a dream of Jin and her anime-ish made up character, Akira. That's Black Phoenix's anime/game version of her, sort of. The next night it could be of Hwoarang! In one of her dreams, she and Jin were gonna do something naughty...  
  
Black Phoenix: SHUT IT!  
  
Xiaoyu: So They both bought LOADS of cherries, chocolate syrup, whipped cream, and sprinkles. Then they went to Hwoarang's house! Err...apartment. They were gonna do it in Hwoarang's room. So then while Hwoarang was sleeping, they dumped EVERYTHING on him, making him a giant Korean sundae!  
  
Black Phoenix: Thanks for spoiling my plans...  
  
Hwoarang: Say WHAT?!  
  
Jin: Hey, not a bad idea...  
  
Hwoarang: Shut up, Kazama.  
  
Jin: Make me!  
  
Hwoarang: Fine! *ties Jin up in a chair and puts tape in his mouth* Haha!  
  
Jin: MMFMFFMMFMFMMF!! (I'll kill you, Korea!)  
  
Hwoarang: Nya Nya!  
  
Xiaoyu: She also has a crush on *ahem* (takes out LONG list) Zhao Yun, Ma Chao, Xu Huang, Lu Xun, Wufei, Quatre, Brad (Zoids), Steve Fox?!  
  
Steve: Me? I'm honored.  
  
Black Phoenix: I did NOT write that!  
  
Xiaoyu: Whatever. Toya (Ayashino Ceres), Ein or Hayate (Dead or Alive series), Yugo (Bloody Roar series), Bakuryu (Bloody Roar series), Zell, Irvine, Squall, Sanzo (Gensomaden Saiyuki), Gojyu (Gensomaden Saiyuki), Hakkai (Gensomaden Saiyuki), Trunks, Lee Chaolan?! AHHAHAHAAHA!! This list goes on and on!  
  
Lee: Me? Wow, I have a fan! I AM better looking than Kazuya! *checks polls* Damn. Kazuya's leading by one...Who could have been voting for him when everyone FEARS him?  
  
Jun: *whistles*  
  
Black Phoenix: Geez, why don't you put it on a website or something?  
  
Xiaoyu: I think I will! Thanks for the idea!  
  
Black Phoenix: I was being sarcastic!  
  
Xiaoyu: Too baaaaaaaaaad!  
  
Black Phoenix: Well, what about your fantasies about Jann-Lee, eh?  
  
Xiaoyu: Uh...uhh...I don't know what you're talking about!  
  
Black Phoenix: Oh please! I can't get ANY sleep at night because you're always yelling his name out!  
  
Xiaoyu: I do no such thing!  
  
Black Phoenix: Yes you do. Here's a recording. *turns on recorder* "Jann-Lee! Jann-Lee! Oh Jann-Lee! Save me! Oh yes! That's the spot...now the other one...Yeah!  
  
Audience: WOOT WOOT!  
  
Jann-Lee: Oh my God! That's nasty!  
  
Black Phoenix: Sounds naughty eh? Well, here's what it is on the Alpha-Catch. (Cowboy Bebop) Jann-Lee! Jann-Lee! Save me! (Heihachi gets kicked in the balls) Oh yes! (she's freed, points at the safe) That's the spot...(Jann-Lee pulls a lever, causing the first lock to unlock) Now the other one...(Jann-Lee pulls the other lever, causing the second lock to unlock, causing the safe door to open) Jann-Lee: Wow! Look at all those meat buns! Yeah! So...that's...where...they...went...(dies)  
  
Jann-Lee: *wipes forehead* Whoo...That was close.   
  
Xiaoyu: Our next question err...reply comes from michelle. (I remember ya!) She writes:  
  
Yeah, right, Ling. Like you do play sports You don'y look it. Nice writing Black Phoenix. You should continue.  
  
Black Phoenix: Thanks!   
  
Zhuge Liang: And I do believe she means "don't".  
  
Xiaoyu: Zhuge Liang? Strategist of Shu? If you people don't know Romance of the Three Kingdoms, try the games. Dynasty Warriors series, Kessen 2, and the Romance of the Three Kingdoms series helps. Also, go read the novel. It's good.  
  
Black Phoenix: Zhuge Liang? What the hell are you doing here?  
  
Zhuge Liang: Well, I just thought I'd mosey on over to the Tekken section. Those three brothers, Liu Bei, Zhang Fei, and Guan Yu are a real group of idiots. Plus, they have yaoi pairings of Sima Yi and Zhang He. That isn't bad, but the Sima Yi x Zhuge Liang pairings are just terrible! I'm STRAIGHT! Anyway, I saw this fanfic and wondered if they asked any intelligent questions. Well, do they?  
  
Black Phoenix: Actually, they do. Just read the stuff NextBigThing1 (or should I say, KazyuaFan1) writes and...HEY! You should be gone!  
  
Xiaoyu: I do sports! Just look at Black Phoenix! She doesn't look like she does sports! But she does LOTS!  
  
Black Phoenix: You're exaggerating it, Xiaoyu.  
  
Xiaoyu: ...kickball, speedball (a mix of soccer and football), basketball, Blitzball, and Taekwon Do!   
  
Hwoarang: Just like me! She even knows my name pattern, Hwa-rang! I do that in the Tekken 3 EMBU! Well, some of it.  
  
Black Phoenix: Taekwon Do, yes. All others, yes. Soccer, no. I get hit in the head WAY too much. There's an add on to this letter, Xiaoyu!  
  
Xiaoyu: Okay! It's for you, Kikai.  
  
Black Phoenix: HEY!  
  
Xiaoyu: It says:  
  
Hi Black Phoenix. Just forgot to mention something... I'm from the Philippines and yeah, thhere are a lot of arcades here swarming and bristling with Tekken 4. I play in arcades every weekend... How did you find the Philippines?  
  
Zhuge Liang: I do believe she means "There".  
  
  
Black Phoenix: Go back to the ROTK section and help Lu Bu with his speech problems!  
  
Zhuge Liang: Fine! I know when I'm not wanted! *disappears*  
  
Black Phoenix: Geez. Anyway, I found the Philippines quite pleasant, actually. I haven't been there in about ten years or so, so I really didn't remember much from there. I have SO MANY cousins! My cousin Jayson's cool. Oh! The malls are HUGE! I really like the Festival Supermall! That's where I spent about six hours or so on Tekken 4...so many challengers...Mabuhay! Salamat for reviewing, michelle!  
  
Xiaoyu: That's nice! You used Me and Jin a lot!   
  
Black Phoenix: Yup.   
  
Xiaoyu: Next Question is from NextBigThing1 (I remember ya!) He writes:  
  
HAHAHAHA!!! *ahem* Ling, here's another Q: If some stores are open 24 hours, why do they have locks on the doors??  
  
*NBT1*  
  
Xiaoyu: Simple, because if they have free slurpies, they can lock the doors and keep it all to themselves! MWAHAHAHA!!!  
  
Black Phoenix: I like slurpies...  
  
Xiaoyu: None for Jin or Hwoarang!  
  
Black Phoenix: Yeah!  
  
Xiaoyu & Black Phoenix: YAY!  
  
Jin: That sucks.  
  
Hwoarang: No fair!  
  
Black Phoenix: Free slurpies to all who reviewed! *SLUUUURP* Anyway that's it! Keep those questions comin'! Also, I may have confused you all on the commercial thing, so I have decided that you can vote on what product you would like to see the Tekken Crew perform in a commercial! The top six will be chosen, written on strips of paper, put into a hat, and be picked for a group of four Tekken fighters to perform. I have cranked it down to fifteen reviews so you won't wait long, or so I hope. Fifteen reviews will reward you with Tekken Crew and Commercial Performance Day! Think of it as Who's Line Is It Anyway? with Tekken characters in it! I'm thinking of a cool way to write my disclaimer, since I forgot to write my old ones in...  
  
Xiaoyu: What a weenie!  
  
Black Phoenix: Shut it! Anyways, I gotta say good night, or my head will roll...I will be uhh...executed at my mom's hands (with my own swords too!) if I don't go to bed...  
  
"You're in good hands...you're in my hands."  
- Gan Ning (Dynasty Warriors 3)  
  
Black Phoenix: I wouldn't wanna hear my mom say that...*gulp* 


	4. School, commercials, and more crap

Black Phoenix: Ahh...since I didn't actually *slurp* get that much votes or anything, I have decided to just go on with the commercials...prolly in another fic...naaaahh. *slurp* Man, I love this slurpie! *SLUURP*  
  
Xiaoyu: Ahh well, now onto our questions...Pokemon Hunter...  
  
Black Phoenix: *spits out slurpie* I think I know who that is...*thinks* AHA! That fool...it's my friend/fellow Heihachi hater, JAKE!  
  
Heihachi: What? Hate me? I'm shocked!  
  
Kazuya: *turns on a switch that is connected to cables which are hooked up to Heihachi that shock him*   
  
Heihachi: GWAAAAAH!!! *gets shocked*  
  
Kazuya: Heh, heh...  
  
Xiaoyu: Well, Pokemon Hunter asks:  
  
Crikey! That was one of the best fanfic on the whole internet! One question...  
  
WHY?!  
  
Black Phoenix: That's because I'M so great! *beams*  
  
Devil: *shoots laser beams at Black Phoenix before becoming Kazuya again*   
  
Black Phoenix: Oww...  
  
Kazuya: *whistles and shuffles his feet*  
  
Xiaoyu: Because I'm so adorable! Right, Jin?  
  
Jin: ...  
  
Xiaoyu: RIGHT JIN?! *kicks his shin...or not...*  
  
Jin: *high pitched voice* OWW! THAT WAS MY DING DONG YOU PEANUT BRAIN!  
  
Xiaoyu: Whoops!  
  
Hwoarang: Oh boy...Jin got "Mr. Happy" kicked...  
  
Black Phoenix: Owies...I'm mad at my cousin, PJC...  
  
Xiaoyu: Why? Because he didn't get you a Jin toy and instead got you Nina?  
  
Black Phoenix: Why, yes! *kicks PJC in "Mr. Happy"*  
  
PJC: OH S***!  
  
Xiaoyu: Thank goodness it's censored! ^_^  
  
Black Phoenix: Now, onto our next question...  
  
Xiaoyu: Right! This one's from Jes. Jes asks:  
  
Question 1: How much wood would a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck would?  
  
Question 2: If Heihachi falls down, and no one sees it, does he make a sound?  
  
If you're gonna do a comercial, it should be Paul or one of the Mishimas advertising some kinda hair-gel. This is Jes, saying screw you and have a nice day.  
  
Zhuge Liang: I do believe he means "commercial".   
  
Black Phoenix: Zhuge Liang?  
  
Zhuge Liang: Yes?  
  
Black Phoenix: HOW MANY TIMES HAVE I TOLD YOU TO GO BACK TO THE ROTK SECTION?!   
  
Zhuge Liang: *counts fingers* Three.  
  
Black Phoenix: *fumes* Well then...STAY THERE AND HELP LU BU WITH "HIS" SPEECH PROBLEMS, NOT MY REVIEWERS!  
  
Zhuge Liang: Fine then! *disappears off the stage*  
  
Black Phoenix: MWAHAHA!!! *goes crazy* *destroys Lee's Ray-Bans*  
  
Lee: My best pair!  
  
Xiaoyu: Sorry, Kikai's having those day-before-school-starts craziness because she doesn't have a class with her boyfriend.   
  
  
Gon: *holds up a sign that says "Awwww!"*  
Audience: Awwww!  
  
Xiaoyu: Too bad! That commercial idea is a good one! Thanks Jes! Well, our next question comes from...Jaxles?! What the...  
  
Jaxles: Hiya!  
  
Xiaoyu: Oh dear...Jaxles asks...  
  
NBT1 finally gave me time to review stories so....  
  
Ling, what color do Smurfs turn when they are feeling down?  
  
P.S.:NBT1 enjoyed his Slurpee....  
  
*Jaxles*  
  
Xiaoyu: I really don't know what color they turn into...Ganryu ALWAYS ends up sitting on them! Worse, he ALSO kills them with a toxic, most hazardous gas!  
  
Ganryu: I didn't do anything...*twiddles his thumbs* (Smurf imprints are visible on his fat-ass hiney)  
  
Xiaoyu: I'm glad NBT1 enjoyed his slurpie. Black Phoenix's cousin, Azn-Ac says them Smurfs turn red...Hrm...  
  
Meanwhile...  
  
(Jin and Hwoarang are backed into a wall behind the stage)  
  
Jin: *panicking* Hwoarang! What now?  
  
Hwoarang: I've never tried to stop a rampaging Black Phoenix before!  
  
Jin: *coolly and happily* How 'bout a donut? *holds out a donut to Hwoarang*  
  
Hwoarang: This is no time to be eating donuts! We're backed into a wall , about to get pulverized by a 13 year old girl who wants us BADLY and all you can think of is eating a damn donut?! *grabs donut and throws it at Black Phoenix*  
  
Jin: *slow motion* NOOOOO!!! *arm reaches for donut*  
  
Black Phoenix: *catches donut in mouth, out of slow motion* *settles down* Yummy!  
  
Jin: *gasp* That was my last don't you faggot!  
  
Hwoarang: Bite me, donut boy!  
  
Jin: *bites Hwoarang*  
  
Hwoarang: OW Bunghole! I really didn't mean it!   
  
(both fight)  
  
Black Phoenix: That's enough! *munch* Now! Onto our last question! From The Great Daryl! The Great Daryl asks:  
  
This is excellent! Now where's my slurpee?  
  
Black Phoenix: *hands The Great Daryl his slurpie* Here ya go!  
  
Xiaoyu and Black Phoenix: Come again!  
  
Apu: That is my line! Praise Shiva I am in this story! Come again!   
  
Black Phoenix: Now you can go away! *makes Apu disappear* Haha!  
  
Nelson: That's my line! Haha!  
  
Black Phoenix: My fic, my lines! *makes Nelson disappear* Booyaka!  
  
Selphie (FF8): MY LINE!   
  
Black Phoenix: Go away! *makes Selphie disappear* Wa-hey!  
  
Xiaoyu: According to our charts you made TERRIBLY at home...  
  
Black Phoenix: *pretends to act shocked* I didn't not make those *points at charts* MONSTROUS charts!  
  
Xiaoyu: Hey, your signature in ink in the corner. *points at handwriting*  
  
Black Phoenix: Someone forged it?  
  
Jin and Hwoarang (who have stopped fighting): *snicker*   
  
Jin: She sucks at drawings charts...  
  
Xiaoyu: Anyway, back to what I was saying...*ahem* According to our horrible looking charts, we have grouped Tekken characters and their commercials. As they are ordered...  
  
Ganryu: *jumps up and down* I want Michelle and Julia nude special please!  
  
Xiaoyu: EWW!!! SECURITY!  
  
(Jin and Hwoarang grab his arms and drag him out of the studio)  
  
Ganryu: But-but!  
  
Hwoarang: Shut up Ass-zilla. No one wants to see your fat-ass anymore...well, maybe in those commercials...  
  
Xiaoyu: As our groups are ordered...  
1. Paul, Kazuya, and Heihachi- Super Glue Hair Gel  
2. Jin, Hwoarang, Mokujin- Mokujin Donuts (based on a sound file Jake and I did!)  
3. Anna, Steve, and Lei- Don't pick up hitch-hikers.  
4. Ganryu, Michelle, Christie, Eddy- Fat-Ass-Zilla Weight Loss/Puncture Program  
5. Lee/Violet- Honda, Supra  
6. Jun, Julia, Xiaoyu, Panda, (with a short scenario with F. Law)- Save the Forest  
7. Marshall Law, Forest Law, Kuma- Sweet Ham Salmon  
8. Bryan, Gun Jack, Combot- Special Edition Battle Bots  
9. King, Armor King- "Special" Orphanage  
  
Black Phoenix: Yes, well, I have decided those myself...since I didn't get much votes or anything...AND school starts tomorrow...yes...it's true...I DON'T have a class with my bf...*tearz* I called him up a few days ago and asked him what his schedule was. Waah! Ahh well, we have the same lunch! I had asked Azn-Ac about the lunch thing (since he's a freshman now and has left my middle school for good) and yes, we both have 3rd lunch. I'll probably write a fanfic in school...hmm...maybe a Xiaoyin or Xiaoyang. (Hey! Yin and Yang! Hehehe...I'll shut up now)  
  
Hwoarang: You made up Xiaoyang, huh? For me and Xiaoyu?  
  
Black Phoenix: Umm...yeah! Well, yes, I am rather pissed for not getting a Jin or Hwoarang toy, so, mostly during our entire chat, I kept typing JIN-JIN! for an idiotic reason. Anyway, I downloaded some Tekken 4 endings yesterday, so if you want any, lemme know!  
  
King: Huh-huh. "Want any"   
  
Black Phoenix: *throws keg of beer* And stay out! Well, I think I'll write the commercials tomorrow. And I'm Sorry NextBigThing1 for using Jaxles in his little bit there. Geez, gotta go! Please write more reviews and ask more questions! They shall be answered! Until next chapter-  
  
Xiaoyu and Black Phoenix: Ja ne! 


	5. Deep, dark secrets, sons, and sex drives

Black Phoenix: I am proud to announce that we will have our Commercial day!   
  
All: YAY!  
  
Black Phoenix: First thing's first. Xiaoyu, tonight's questions please!  
  
Xiaoyu: Alright! This one's from michelle...YOU AGAIN?! You're our top reviewer! You get another slurpie! *hands michelle a slurpie* Now, michelle asks...  
  
Hey! Real cool... Please continue for the sake of all Ling Haters!!! Mwahahahaha!! Oh, yeah, and Ling, what's your deepest, darkest secret???  
  
Xiaoyu: LING...HATERS?! Black Phoenix over here uses me ALL the time!   
  
Black Phoenix: That's actually MOST of the time...  
  
Xiaoyu: Ack, who cares? She's a LING LOVER, NOT HATER!  
  
Black Phoenix: That didn't sound right...  
  
Xiaoyu: Anyway...My deepest darkest secret? Uhh...well...erm...  
  
Black Phoenix: She-  
  
Xiaoyu: Shut it! Next question is from-  
  
Black Phoenix: SHE LOVES STEVE, JIN, AND HWOARANG AND IS GOING OUT WITH ALL OF THEM! I swear I saw her go into Steve's apartment that one night and-  
  
Xiaoyu: NOOOOO!!!!  
  
Steve: That was the best!  
  
Jin: You and...him?!  
  
Hwoarang: Why you and that little bastard?!  
  
Xiaoyu: Erm...I uhh...  
  
Black Phoenix: She and Steve ::whispers to both Jin and Hwoarang what she and Steve did::  
  
Jin: YOU WHAT?!  
  
Hwoarang: YOU HAVE LOST YOURS TO...HIM?!  
  
Both: NOOOO!!!  
  
Steve: Yep, she lost THAT game! Hehe...Sorry blokes!  
  
Xiaoyu: Alright, I admit it...I used both you and Jin in Tekken 4 and lost both times against Steve...  
  
Jin: How could you?!  
  
Hwoarang: After all I gave you?! All those nights of your pleasure! Y'know, the times I let you WIN?!?!  
  
Xiaoyu: THEN I slept with him.  
  
Jin: Mef, that's forgivable...YOU WHAT?!?!  
  
Hwoarang: *points at Steve* You took away her virginity!!  
  
Black Phoenix: MOVING ON!!  
  
Xiaoyu: I agree! Next is from The Great Daryl...  
  
This is getting better and better! And thanks for the slurpee! Now Mistress Firestar has a question  
  
Firestar: can you say this three times fast?  
  
SHE SELLS SEA SHELLS BY THE SEA SHORE  
  
Xiaoyu: She smells sea bells by the tea store...  
  
Black Phoenix: She sells bee spells by the pea snore...ZZZ  
  
Xiaoyu: WAKE UP! *kicks Black Phoenix* Now, NEXT! NextBigThing1...  
  
*Hey, I don't care that you used Jaxles. He likes it when other people put him in their stories so he can get more popularity. Which I might add, is the stupidest thing in the world.  
  
Jaxles: Nuh-uh! It's the perfect way!!!! You should try it sometime.  
  
*Dude, I've already done what I need to do to become famous!  
  
*Anyway, here's a question....  
  
Why does breaking a mirror mean seven years of bad luck, when seven is considered a lucky number?  
  
*NBT1*  
  
Xiaoyu: How should I know? I guess, different superstition beliefs, I guess. Anyway, whenever Anna looks at herself in the mirror, it breaks!  
  
Anna: HEY!  
  
Xiaoyu: Later! Now, next is Kukkaistytot.  
  
Good story! Where did you download those endings? Questions:  
  
1. What do you think about Kazzy and Anna?  
2. Could you think Nina and Bryan as a couple?  
  
Black Phoenix: Thanks!   
  
Xiaoyu: Hrm...  
1. Bad mix. Glad for Jun and Kazzy so there's Jin-Jin! =^.^=  
2. No, but possible. Besides, I guess according to Steve's ending, Nina is Steve's mom...can't see a dead guy as the daddy though...if so, shouldn't his sex drives be dead too?  
  
Bryan: HEY!  
  
Black Phoenix: I got the endings at http://members.aol.com/deathcom5/index.html.   
I went there earlier today and didn't see the Intros and Movies link anymore...hmmm...  
  
Xiaoyu: Last one for tonight is Forevermore!  
  
Where did you download the tekken4 endings ?  
  
Ask Xiaoyu what character she hates most and why  
  
Good story  
  
Black Phoenix: Okay then...What Forevermore said.  
  
Xiaoyu: There are a few...Heihachi for wearing a diaper when he fights, Ganryu for wearing PURPLE diaper when he fights and for eating my lunch 11 months in a row, and BLACK PHOENIX for TELLING EVERYON MY DEEP DARK SECRET!!!  
  
Steve: Wanna do that again, babe?  
  
Xiaoyu: Not now Steve!  
  
Steve: Okay then. *sips his tea and eats his crumpet* ::chokes:: Help...  
  
Black Phoenix: What? I'm just giving the readers what they want...  
  
Xiaoyu: *fumes* here! Let me take over! *hands over headphones*  
  
Black Phoenix: WOO-HOO! *singing opening of Fushigi Yuugi*   
  
Xiaoyu: Sheesh, she's terrible...  
  
Black Phoenix: #...MUGEN E TO HIRAKE FUSHIGI YUUGI!!!#  
  
Xiaoyu: Man, she sucks...Well, I guess we do the commercials next chapter...  
  
Black Phoenix: *humming the tune of Exporation Space (Yes, EXPORATION not EXPLORATION) by Cosmic Gate*  
  
Xiaoyu: I hope you remember the groups! Black Phoenix sure didn't! Her notes...*shuffles cards* Ah, she's happy to have the same lunch with her boyfriend, hates school because her classes have loud people, and will write more on DW3 Game Switch. 'Till next time...  
  
All: Ja ne!  
  
Steve: I'm...still...choking...  
  
A/N: That Mef thing with Jin...Don't mind that. I say it all the time instead of "whatever" for some reason...Also, I have nothing against Steve. He's actually one of my faves. =^.~= 


	6. Commercial Day!

Black Phoenix: It's now really Commercial Day!  
  
All: Yay!  
  
Black Phoenix: First up is...Paul, Heihachi, and Kazuya with Super Glue Hair Gel! Roll the film! *screen*  
  
#Super Glue Hair Gel#  
  
Kazuya: Is your hair down and unfashionable?  
  
Paul: (in his Tekken 4 costume) Yes.  
  
Kazuya: Do people make fun of you because of your hairstyle?  
  
Paul & Heihachi: Yes.  
  
Kazuya: Then try Super Glue Hair Gel! Your new hairstyle will "stick" to you everywhere you go!  
  
Paul: Wow! It's amazing! But my hands are stuck on my head...  
  
Kazuya: *pats Paul of the back* Good for you!  
  
Heihachi: HEY! I thought you said this was Rogaine!!! There's NO HAIR GROWING!!! *with his hands stuck to his shiny, bald dome* I WANT MY MONEY BACK!!!  
  
Kazuya: *snickers* Buy Super Glue Hair Gel! It'll really "stick" to ya! HAHAHA! *puts hand on forehead* Hahaha...WHAT THE HELL?!?! MY F****** HAND'S STUCK TO MY HEAD!!!  
  
~Super Glue Hair Gel~  
  
Xiaoyu: HAHA!! Next, we have erm...*reads notecards* Jin, Hwoarang, and Mokujin with Mokujin Donuts...  
  
Toxin Blackheart: Black Phoenix and I wrote the script AND did the vocal version!!!  
  
Black Phoenix and Toxin Blackheart: YAY!   
  
Black Phoenix: They filmed the commercial at home...and we had to do a few cuts, since the script was soooo long...ROLL FILM! *screen*  
  
#Mokujin Donuts#   
  
Jin and Hwoarang are watching Linkin Park's "In The End" music video.  
  
Hwoarang: # It starts with one thing, I don't know why, it doesn't even matter haow hard you've tried...# Jin, this is great! Pass the donuts!  
  
Jin: There's only one left...  
  
Hwoarang: Then GIMME!  
  
Jin: MINE!  
  
Hwoarang: NO!  
  
They fight over the donut until it lands on the windowsill...  
  
Jin: Look! The donut!   
  
Hwoarang: THAT'S MINE!!  
  
A pigeon flies over to the windowsill and takes the donut  
  
Hwoarang: NOOOOO!!!  
  
Jin: The...last...DONUT!!  
  
Both: NOOO!!!  
  
*knock, knock*  
  
Bryan: Donuts! I'm here to deliver a dozen fresh Mokujin Donuts and...AH! What the hell! OPEN THE DAMN DOOR SO YOU CAN GET YOUR DAMN DONUTS!!  
  
Jin: Yay!   
  
Hwoarang: *opens the door* ::gasp::  
  
Bryan: yeah yeah, a free Mokujin dummy for every dozen you buy...  
  
Hwoarang: That's not it...  
  
Jin: You're wearing a delivery boy uniform!  
  
Both: HAHAHA!  
  
Bryan: What the hell...HAHAHAHA!  
  
All: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!  
  
~Mokujin Donuts...The fresh donut...~  
  
Black Phoenix: HAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!  
  
Xiaoyu: Alrighty then...next is...Anna, Lei, and Steve for Don't Pick Up Hitch Hikers...ROLL FILM!  
  
#Public Warning#  
  
Lei: (dressed in a police officer uniform) Young adults...and adults...are getting robbed, hurt, abducted, and broke. You know why? It's because of hitch hikers. Yes, SLUTTY hitch hikers. Let's see what would happen to young Steve here.  
  
Steve: *walks in with a cardboard car* Beep, beep. Hello, there!  
  
Anna: Hello! May a have a ride in your hot wheels?  
  
Steve: Of course! Hop in! *Anna slips under the cardboard car* And away we go!  
  
Lei: Tsk, tsk. This is what happened to poor Steve AFTER he had picked up Anna.  
  
Steve: LOOK! The Dixie plate on my car is GONE! See?! * fake gasp* MY MONEY!!!  
  
Lei: See? Now this is what happens if Steve DIDN'T pick up Anna.  
  
Anna: Hello there!  
  
Steve: *walks in with a cardboard car, with a new plate glued on err...wheel* Get lost, whore! I don't want sluts in MY ride! *runs, err...SPEEDS away*  
  
Anna: Well I never!  
  
Lei: God one, Steve! Because of that move, he's a top Middleweight boxer and famous rich guy! He even got laid by Xiaoyu! See kids, follow Steve's example.   
  
Steve, Lei, Anna: DON'T PICK UP HITCH HIKERS!  
  
Steve: Except if it's a certain Chinese girl named Ling Xiaoyu! *wink, wink*  
  
Lei: STEVE! *smacks Steve on the back of the head*  
  
~Don't Pick Up Hitch Hikers...especially slutty ones...~  
  
All: HAAAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAAHAA!  
  
Xiaoyu: Good one, Steve!  
  
Black Phoenix: Yeah! Nice car, by the way!  
  
Steve: Thanks!  
  
Black Phoenix: Next, Ganryu, Michelle, Christie, and Eddy with Fat-Ass-Zilla Weight Loss/Acupuncture Program! ROLL FILM!!!  
  
#Want to lose weight?#  
  
Michelle: Wanna lose weight, and fast? Well, come on down to the Fat-Ass-Zilla Weight Loss/Acupuncture Program! Here, we have a dance program if you want to lose weight with style! Our dance teachers, Christie Monteiro and Eddy Gordo!  
  
Eddy: Now SPIIINN!! Then Kick, kick, spin, spin, spin some more, and SPIIIINNNN!!!!  
  
Christie: Work it, people!  
  
Eddy: Ganryu! No squishing people!   
  
Michelle: Here we have one of our members, Ganryu!   
  
Ganryu, Eddy, and Christie walk over to Michelle  
  
Michelle: Of course, we also have...ACUPUNCTURE!  
  
Christie: Needles are ready!  
  
Michelle: Great! Now try it out on one of the fat people over there.  
  
Christie: Okay! *goes to a fat person and pokes her with the needle*  
  
Lady: *gasp* I'm skinny! That needle released the air from my body! Thank you, Fat-Ass-Zilla Weight Loss/Acupuncture Program!  
  
Michelle: See? Lose weight in SECONDS! Now, I shall poke Ganryu with this needle!  
  
Ganryu: It won't hurt, right?  
  
Michelle: Not a bit! *pokes Ganryu with the needle* *air escaping* See? It really works!  
  
Christie: But not in the way we wanted...  
  
Ganryu: *fart, fart, FAAAARRRRTTTT!!!!*  
  
All: *gasp, faint*  
  
Ganryu; It really does work!  
  
~Fat-Ass-Zilla Weight Loss/Acupuncture Program~  
  
Xiaoyu: That smells...  
  
Black Phoenix: Literally!  
  
Both: HAHAHAAHAHAHAHA!!!  
  
Black Phoenix: Anyway, next is Lee! Wai! Go for it! ROLL FILM!!  
  
#Honda, Supra#  
  
Lee: You know what, Violet? * runs to other side and changes into Violet costume*  
  
Violet: What Lee? *changes again*  
  
Lee: I like the Honda Civic. *changes*  
  
Violet: But I like the Supra! *changes*  
  
Lee: They're both good cars...*changes*  
  
Violet: FOR CHAMPIONS!! *changes*  
  
Lee: Yeah! With Four wheel drive and-*faints from exhaustion*   
  
~The cars for chamions...and rich people who could afford them...~  
  
Black Phoenix: Poor Lee...HAH! I GOT A SUPRA!!!  
  
Xiaoyu: That's very nice...*gasp* I'm next! We're doing this one live! Later! *runs backstage*  
  
Black Phoenix: Okay! This one is Jun, Julia, Xiaoyu, Panda, and a short appearance of Forest Law! Their commercial is called "Save the Forest". HIT IT!!!  
  
~Save our world's last forests~  
  
Julia: Hello, I'm Julia Chang. Our forests are disappearing, so please, do YOUR part and save the forest.  
  
Forest Law: Hello!   
  
Julia: Not that Forest! The WORLD'S forest!  
  
Jun: *picks up trash and puts them into Tetsujin* My personal Trash Can!  
  
Xiaoyu: *rides on Panda* And save the animals!  
  
Julia: Most importantly, my village!  
  
All: So save the forest!  
  
Forest Law: But not me!  
  
All: Right!  
  
~Save the trees. Wipe your ass with an owl.~  
  
Jun: KAZUYA!  
  
~Save the forest, but not Forest Law.~  
  
Jun: Thank you!  
  
Black Phoenix: Interesting...Next we have Marshall Law, Forest Law, and Kuma in Sweet Ham Salmon. ROLL FILM!  
  
~Marshall China~  
  
Marshall: For my seafood dishes, I need the freshest seafood! For the fresh fish, I rely on the best! I rely on Sweet Ham Salmon for the freshest, best tasting fish! It's so fresh, it came right out of a river!  
  
Kuma: *scoops up a salmon from a river*  
  
Forest: MY FIIIISH!!!  
  
Kuma: Raw! Rawr Ragh!   
  
Forest: No, MY FISH!  
  
Forest and Kuma fight for the fish. Finally...  
  
Forest: Look! Panda!  
  
Kuma: Raa?  
  
Forest: *kicks Kuma in the...manhood area...  
  
Kuma: RAAAAAWWWW!!!  
  
Forest: My fish!  
  
Marshall: See? Only the freshest fish for my restaurant!  
  
~Sweet Ham Salmon. The freshest as fresh could get!~  
  
Black Phoenix: Azn-Ac liked that one, I know!  
  
Xiaoyu: Yay! Kuma got what was coming to him! Next is Bryan, Gun Jack, and Combot! BATTLEBOTS! ROLL FILM!  
  
~The wait is over...~  
  
Announcer: SPECIAL EDITION BATTLEBOTS! We have Combot, Bryan Fury, and Gun Jack from the Iron Fist Tournament in our BATTLEBOTS ARENA!!! Fans will cheer at the hair metal sounds of the fight music! They will WAIL at the destruction of these beings of mass...destruction!   
  
Bryan, Gun Jack, and Combot are all fighting each other  
  
Announcer: Who will win? Tune in to Comedy Central for Special Edition BattleBots!  
  
~You ready?~  
  
All: *silence*  
  
Xiaoyu: OOOOKAAAYYY...Last one will be better than that, I hope...It's King and Armor King with the "Special" Orphanage...  
  
~They need a home...~  
  
King: Hola. I'm King.  
  
Armor King: And I'm Armor King.  
  
King: They need a home...  
  
Armor King: Yes...please give these, "special" children a home...  
  
A kid with a thumb on his forehead appears  
  
King: If you or anyone you know has a mutated child, please, send them in to the Umbrella BIOHAZARD!!! orphanage. They need a proper home.  
  
Soon, little mutated kids gather round  
  
Armor King: They need a home...so send them here!  
  
~Umbrella BIOHAZARD!!! orphanage...for them...~  
  
Black Phoenix: How sappy...Now, readers, this is where you get to vote for your best commercial! The winning commercial will...well, something good will happen! 'Till next time...  
  
Xiaoyu and Black Phoenix: Ja ne! 


	7. Legalos, purple undies, Apolo, and panda...

Black Phoenix: Thanks for all your reviews! I had just recently watched Lord of the Rings and...erm...  
  
Xiaoyu: SHE LIKES LEGOLAS!  
  
Black Phoenix: SHUT IT! Besides, I also rented OTHER THINGS! Like, an anime called Spriggen...SAWEET! Legolas...Hm...His name reminded me of Lego Land!   
  
Xiaoyu: Well, thanks to Black Phoenix's constant whining, we have a few guest stars with us today. One of them being Legolas. Also starring Steve Fox, Dante Sparda, Kazuya Mishima, Jin Kazama, and Winter Olympics Gold Medalist Apolo Anton Ohno. Well, let's welcome our guests!  
  
All guest stars walk out on stage and sit down in their chairs.  
  
Xiaoyu: Welcome all!  
  
All: Hi!  
  
Black Phoenix: Legolas, Jin, Steve, Apolo...Dante...TODAY'S THE BEST DAY EVER! The greatest thing that's ever happened to me ever since school started!! *tearz*  
  
Xiaoyu: ANYWAY, moving onto our questions. Oh! Any of the guest stars wanna read the letters?  
  
All: ME! ME! ME! PICK ME!  
  
Kazuya: PICK ME!   
  
Legolas: (shoots an arrow at Kazuyas butt) Pick me!  
  
Kazuya: (turns into Devil)  
  
Dante: OMIGOD! A BEING FROM HELL! (takes out Alastor)  
  
All fight...   
  
Xiaoyu: SETTLE DOWN! Listen, I'll put all of your names in this...beanie and draw names! Agreed?  
  
All: Agreed.  
  
Emi: My beanie!  
  
Xiaoyu: Okay...*shakes hat* Okay..first is...Jin.  
  
Jin: Yay. Actually, I don't wanna read. I jes' wanna eat my Mokujin Donuts.  
  
Xiaoyu: Okay then...*draws a name* First to read is...Apolo.   
  
Apolo: Cool. This letter's from NextBigThing1. He writes:  
  
Okay, questions, questions....  
  
Hmm.....  
  
Okay, Ling, here's a normal question for once: Why do you love panda bears?! Of all things, a damn panda bear?!!! Please, I'd much rather give Jaxles a hula-hoop just to see what he could do wiht it!!!!  
  
Love,  
  
*NBT1*  
  
Zhuge Liang: I do believe he means "with".  
  
Black Phoenix: GO THE HELL AWAY!  
  
Zhuge Liang: Watcha gonna do? Turn me into a newt?  
  
Black Phoenix: *turns him into a newt* My fic, my rules.  
  
Apolo: *shudders* I wonder what you do to your bishounen...  
  
Black Phoenix: Oh, you wanna know?  
  
Apolo: NONONO! Just a thought!  
  
Black Phoenix: 'Kay.  
  
Apolo: *wipes forehead* Whew!  
  
Jaxles: (with a hula hoop) Hey! Watch me everyone! See me perform a great feat! Using this hula hoop, I shall be THE ULTIMATE WARRIOR!!!  
  
All: *not paying attention*  
  
Jaxles: Aww...Come on! WATCH MEEEE!!!  
  
All: *still not paying attention*  
  
Jaxles: Fine! I know when I'm not wanted! I'll try next door...It's Your Big Break! *leaves*  
  
Xiaoyu: Well, to let you know, I ran into a baby panda when I was younger! It was all alone, so I took it home and took care of it! But then my mom found out, so I took it to the zoo. The panda did fine, and had little pandas. My panda, Xiongmao, which means panda in Chinese, is one of her offspring-  
  
Black Phoenix: #Oh yeah! Oh yeah! Open wide and they'll shove in their meaning of life! Can't make it work your way. Thanks but no thanks!#  
  
Xiaoyu: Not THAT Offspring! I mean offspring, like babies!  
  
Black Phoenix: Coincidence! I'm listening to the song right now!  
  
Xiaoyu: Mef, who cares? ANYWAY, the zookeeper told me that they were gonna give that one up because they didn't have enough room at the zoo for her. I told them that I would take care of it. Naturally, they let me keep her!  
  
Dante: Why? Cause you're a whiny little brat?  
  
All: HAHAHAHA!!  
  
Xiaoyu: *fumes* *goes over to Dante and punches him in the face...hard...then kicks him in his...manhood...*  
  
Dante: *high pitched voice* BITCH!!!  
  
Xiaoyu: There. And, pandas are NOT bears. They just look like them. *draws name* Next is...Hmm, well whaddya know? Steve! *hands him letter*  
  
Steve: Thanks, love. This one's from Light ^-^...  
  
I'd love to have some Tekken 4 endings.  
Where d'ya get them?  
Please tell me!! I hafta know!!  
  
Xiaoyu: Deathcom Multimedia...You can check chapter 5 for the link. *draws name* Next is...Hmm...Jin...Ready yet?  
  
Jin: Yep.  
  
Xiaoyu: Here. *hands him letter*  
  
Jin: Thanks...Lillian writes:  
  
HAHAHAHAA!!! I think that Jin/Hwoarang commercial was the best! I mean, the others were funny too but this one....*lol*!!  
  
Jin: Thank you!  
  
Xiaoyu: They got to eat donuts before and after the commercial...I was hungry that day...'Kay...next is from Kukkaistytot...oh yeah! Next is...*draws name* Dante...*grits teeth*  
  
Dante: Heh-heh...This is from Kukkaistytot...  
  
Thanks for those endings! They were really good!  
  
And we wanna ask both of you Black Pheonix and Xiaoyu:   
  
1. What do you think Jin's voice in Tekken 4? We think that it's way too low (darn it!)but what do you think?  
  
2. And what's going on between Nina and Steve?? Are they mother and son or something like that...?  
  
Zhuge Liang (still a newt): *takes out a wipey board with wipey markers* I do believe they mean "Phoenix".  
  
Black Phoenix: *puts Zhuge Liang in a fish tank*  
  
Xiaoyu: Hrm...  
1. Low, but kinda cool in a way...not bad though...  
2. Check out the ending...it says that Steve is Nina's son. Weird, ne?  
  
Black Phoenix: Uhh...  
1. Makes him sound mysterious...nothing like his original voice you hear through fighting...Hey, it's still good!  
2. Like Xiaoyu said, check out the ending. It'll say it on the computer screen Steve reads. I couldn't believe it at first, but it's true...  
  
Xiaoyu: Next is...Kazuya?! NO FAIR!  
  
Kazuya: All's fair in love and war...and this seems more like a war to me...ON LIVE NATIONAL, no, GLOBAL TELEVISION!!! MWAHAHAHA!!! *ahem* This is from Denise-chang...  
  
Hey, cool fic. (Actually, I'm just too tired to login) Ok, here are my questions:  
1. In Tekken 4, why does Xiaoyu keep showing off her purple panites...???  
2. How'd she grow humungous teeth in just 2 years?!  
Great fic again.=)  
  
Kazuya: HAHAHAHA!!! They'll never know!!!  
  
Xiaoyu: Well...  
1. That's how a dress works...it shows off panties...  
2. Kazuya got on my computer, went to Paint, loaded the Tekken 4 picture I took before it was loaded into the game, and he messed with the teeth...  
  
Black Phoenix: She just wants a certain British boy to see her undies...hehe...  
  
Steve: !!!  
  
Xiaoyu: How would you know?! You don't even wear dresses! Much less a skirt!  
  
Black Phoenix: Well...They're too girlish! Besides, it means I can't sit or walk in my "cool" way!  
  
Xiaoyu: Yeah, like a guy?  
  
All: OOOHHH!!!  
  
Black Phoenix: Actually...yeah! Last is for...*draws out last name* Legolas! Wai!  
  
Legolas: *reads letter* This last letter for tonight is from Forevermore.   
  
These are two quetsions for Ling  
  
1. Who is the ugliest Tekken character?  
  
2. which characters do you like besides yourself?  
  
I think the save Mokujin's Donuts should win  
Good story  
  
Legalos: I think Forevermore means "question".  
  
Black phoenix: Not you too!  
  
Legalos: Forgive me.   
  
Black Phoenix: Sure!   
  
Xiaoyu: Ummm...  
1. I got a few...Ganryu, Heihachi, Combot, Mokujin, Tetsujin, and Paul.  
2. No duh! Steve, Hwoarang, Jin, and Panda!  
  
Paul: Why me?!?! Lotsa people use me!  
  
Xiaoyu: I know, but polls say your are one of the ugliest.  
  
Paul: Damn!  
  
Black Phoenix: Time to get persona with Apolo! He's a Gold Medalist in Figure Skating-  
  
Apolo: SPEED skating!  
  
Black Phoenix: Same thing! Fine, Speed Skating! His birth date is 5/22/82, born in Seattle, 5'8", 165 lbs., shoe size 9, scars in his upper left eyebrow and left inner thigh, his cat's name is Tiggie, nickname's Chunkie, lives in Colorado Springs, Colorado, and uses briefs for working out and boxers for going out.   
  
Apolo: Lemme guess...All About Apolo, huh?  
  
Black Phoenix: Yep! Great book, Chunkie!  
  
Kazuya: Why Chunkie?  
  
Black Phoenix: When he was a kid, he was a but on the chunky side and he loved eating...  
  
Apolo! HEY!!! *puts hand over Black Phoenix's mouth*  
  
Black Phoenix; MMFFMMFMM, MFFMMFMM...MFFMFM!!! =^.^=  
  
Kazuya: Wha?  
  
Xiaoyu: She's an idiot. Now that that's done, we need more votes for our commercials. Once we reach 30, we'll begin our awards show thing. Glad you all liked the commercials!  
  
Black Phoenix: *out of Apolo's grasp* Thanks! Well, things haven't been going well for me at school. I was hit by Frisbees in science, my friends got their lunches changed because of the lunch unevenness (GRRR!!!), I got 14th chair in my band section...14 out of 22 Alto Saxes..., and my schedule has been changed TWICE because of class unevenness...DAMMIT!!! MAKE UP YOUR MINDS!!! *fumes* Well, I still call Zeus and write notes to my friends...and yes, I bought All About Apolo at a bookfair in my little sister's school...Ack, well, life sucks, so deal with it, I guess.   
  
Legalos: That's sad.  
  
Black Phoenix: Yep. So ANYWAYS...I'll try writing more for DW3 Game Switch over in the Romance of The Three Kingdoms section, which is over in Books. I'll think up more fics and stuff, so watch out world!!! 'Till next time...  
  
All: Ja ne!  
  
Quote for tonight: Easy come, easy go.  
~Cowboy Bebop 


	8. Probably final, I dunno Fights and Frank...

Black Phoenix: Hi all you lovely people!  I am proud to say that I'm gonna make more fics!

Audience: Yay!

Black Phoenix: But I'm sad to say that THIS fic might go down.

Audience: Boo!

Black Phoenix: Yes, well, I'm seeing all of my FAV fics, "Ask blah-blah" disappear 'cause of FF.net's new rule!  So keep asking away until it disappears!  It'll show that you have some support for this fic.  

Audience: YAY!

Xiaoyu: Black Phoenix also has started Ask Dante!.  It's over in the Devil May Cry section.  Now, onto tonight's questions…

Black Phoenix: And I'm sorry for the people who wanted guest stars…we're low on our budget, due to the high demand for donuts backstage…

Jin: Whoops…

Black Phoenix: Anyhoo, let's continue.

Xiaoyu: Okay, this one's from chandavatika:

I got a question for Xiaoyu:

What would chairs look like if our legs bent the other way?

Nice fic! ^.^

Xiaoyu: Well…they'll either look like U's or maybe just like our normal chairs, but with leg rests!

Black Phoenix: OOOOKKKAAAAYYYY…Hey!  Guess who's next?

Xiaoyu: Toxin Blackheart?

Black Phoenix: Yes!  Best friend since Kindergarten! HIEZ!!! 

Xiaoyu: Freak…Anyway, Toxin Blackheart writes:

Cha cha cha!  Another great addition to the already great fic.  Heha…Mokujin Donuts, yeah…Awesome ficcie…Keep it up.

Xiaoyu: We'll last as long as we can before we get deleted off FF.net.  Thanks!

Black Phoenix: Yep…only soon…

Xiaoyu: Next is Denise-chang!  She writes:

Whoa thanks for the funny answer to my questions, "Ling" (Why do people call her Ling it's so stupid)Here are my questions again:

Even though there are so many Xiaojin or Hwoarang/Xiaoyu supporters, majority goes to the perverts who like the Jin/Hwoarang thing.  But many people also support Jin/Julia.  What do you think of THAT!?! 

Hope you come up with a good answer.  TY! =)

Xiaoyu: Whoa, thanks!  My name is XIAOYU, not LING.  According to many simple facts, anyway.  In the game, if my name were Ling, it would show that on the bar up on top.  Secondly, according to the traditional Chinese way, last names are put FIRST!  Aherm, now to answer your question.  Hwoarang/Jin pairings are just SICK I tell you SICK!!  Hwoarang wants to BEAT Jin up, not BANG him up!

Hwoarang: O_o That's just disturbing…

Xiaoyu: Well, I read A LOT of Jin/Julia fics.  I find those more than the other pairings, actually.  I support those, just as long as they don't make me evil, like in one fic I found here…Anyway, I STRONGLY support Xiaoyin and Xiaoyang fics…'cause I'm the star!

Black Phoenix: Whatever…

Jin: Oh please…

Hwoarang: Like you're ever the star…*checks himself in the mirror*

Steve: Why can't there be a Steve/Xiaoyu pairing?!?!

Black Phoenix: Hey, lighten up. I read one…The rest were the other pairings…

Steve: NOOOO!!!

Xiaoyu: Yes…I'll support those too…Jin/Julia pairings are great, they also have great story plots and twists and stuff!  Recommended! ^.^ ;;;

Black Phoenix: Right…

Xiaoyu: Well, next we have Kukkaistytot:

Good chap!  We didn't notice that Steve says Nina's his mom… That video doesn't work so well in our computer.  And about Jin's voice, it's actually very good so sorry about that earlier Jinny-bunny =) Ahem!  Anyway here's a few questions for little Raindrop:

What's your favourite band / artist? Can you play any instruments? What have you done to your hair?  Meaning, they're so dense! *jealous* ;) 

Xiaoyu: Well…

I like Linkin Park…thanks to Hwoarang…Kelly Osbourne…and some techno/ DDR artists: Smile.Dk, Naoki, Green Court, Bus Stop, Robert Miles, Cosmic Gate, and more! Yes, the flute.  Look at the Tekken 3 exclusive calendar.  It'll show me play the flute!  If you wanna see it, go to http://tekkenzaibatsu.com/  and click on Gallery.  It'll show a list of links to your left. I use Finesse!  No curling iron required! 

Black Phoenix: I use Pantene Pro-V.

Steve: I use Suave, because I am!

Hwoarang: Herbal Essences all the way.

Jin: I use…L'oreal Kids shampoo…

All (except Jin):   .:o_O -Hwoarang:.   .:O.O -Xiaoyu:.   .:=O.O= -Black Phoenix:.  .:O_O -Steve:.

Jin: What?  Watermelon is a great scent!  No tears too!

Hwoarang: Those are for frickin' kids!

Jin: So?

Hwoarang: YOU'RE 21 DAMMIT!!!

Jin: …So?

Xiaoyu: Now, now children.  Don't fight!  Next Question's from NextBigThing1.

*Holy crap, that was amazingly funny!!!!  And poor Jaxles once again gets humiliated in front of thw whole world!!

Jaxles: hey, I thought I did a good job! (starts sobbing)

*God, will you shut up?!!!  *mutters* Big baby.

Jaxles: I heard that!!

*Uhhh, no you didn't!!!

*Here's a Q: Ling, why are you so damn weak?!!!  C'mon, even Jaxles could beat you up!!!

Jaxles: I don't know whether to take that as a compliment or an insult….

*NBT1*

Xiaoyu: *fumes* I'm not weak!  It depends what you call weak!  Black Phoenix uses me all the time!

Black Phoenix: And I'm hella good! *flashes peace signs*

Xiaoyu: Besides, I could kick your ass any day, Jaxles!

Jaxles: Bring it on! *punches the air*

Xiaoyu: Alright then! *goes to Art of Phoenix stance*

Jaxles: Come on!  

Xiaoyu: *does a Flower Power, Fire Dancer, and Lotus Twist and then does a Cross Lifting Palms, Rain Dance, Dark and Stormy, Fortune Cookie, X marks the Spot, then finishes off with a kick to the groin, a Cartwheel Left, and a kick to the ass* 

Jaxles: Oww…

Xiaoyu: Told ya!  

Black Phoenix: Good show! 

Audience: *applauds*

Xiaoyu: Thankies! ^.^

Jaxles: I've had enough of this humiliation!  *walks next door, to It's Your Big Break*  I'll sing Frank Sinatra!  At least I'll be appreciated!

Xiaoyu: Elvis has left the building…

Black Phoenix: Wai!  I know who's next!  Wai! =^.^=

Xiaoyu: Yeah, yeah.  Last question for tonight id from krap niknil, her dear cousin…

hi blackphoenix, r u ready for the tekken 4 tournament?  i really want to go there and try to play at Gameworks.  what's the latest? is jin kazama really alive?  can u tell what's on kazuya's eye, why is the other one red?  you know who am i…-=[J@Y$0n]=- your cousin here in the Philippines.

Black Phoenix: I'm soooo ready to kick your ass, Jayson! ^.^  We'll go to Gameworks later.  The latest?  Ummm…I'm making more fanfics, making a poster for Kuya PJ's  comic, Midnight Rush, playing Tekken 4, DDR, and more, and I'm continuing my comics, featuring you!  Yes, Jin's alive…

Jin: Yo.

Black Phoenix: Yep…still alive…Well, Kazuya's eye's red because he's got Devil genes in him, so when he turns into Devil, he has red eyes.  So, since his life depends on Devil now, since wants to become one with it, I guess is eye's red.

Kazuya: *red eye flashing* Damn straight!  I'm gonna kill my old man for doing this to me…

Heihachi: Uh-oh…I'm not your father!  Ummm…Darth Vader is!

Darth Vader: Luke, I am your father…

Heihachi: NOOOOO!!!

Luke: Hey!  That's my line!  NOOOOO!!!

Darth Vader: Come to the Dark Side…where the camera won't see that we're on the wrong show…

Luke: Okay!

Darth Vader and Luke leave the studio

Black Phoenix: Yep.

Xiaoyu: Yep.

Black Phoenix: Yep.

Xiaoyu: Yep.

BOOS are heard from next door.

Jaxles: What?  You guys just don't appreciate my vocal skills!  I have the voice of a thousand a-*is hit by a soda can*

Audience member who threw the can: FROGS!  You have the voice of a thousand frogs!

Audience: BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

Jaxles: I'm just not appreciated here! *goes away*

Black Phoenix: Yep.

Xiaoyu: Yep.

Hank Hill: Yep.

Jin: Yep.

Hwoarang: Yep.

Paul: BUUURRP!

All: EWWW!  *throws Paul out*

Paul: Long live the Alamo BEEEEEERRRRR!!!! *disappears into the night sky*

Hank Hill: Yep.  Well, I'm off.  Have a nice day! *leaves*

Black Phoenix: Yep.  Well, tonight, my friends are gonna have a DDR dance-off.  I'm waiting impatiently for Tekken 4 and I'm watching some episodes I recorded of Cardcaptors.  Ahhh…Yue…^#^  Well, I also went to my cousin PJC's house and watched some Cowboy Bebop episodes.  Hehe…F.Y.I., PJC is the one who wrote The Stupid Show With Cloud Strife over in the Final Fantasy 7 section.  I'm writing a new Tekken fic, so don't worry!  The loss of this fic won't be in vain!  In the words of Heero Yuy: I WILL SURVIVE!!! 

Zhuge Liang: At least there are no typos, tonight.

Black Phoenix: ARGH!  I TOLD YOU TO STAY IN THE ROTK SECTION!!! *ties him onto a rocket and sends him FAR away…actually, to Jaxles's cardboard home.

Jaxles: Hey!  Get yer rocket offa my house!

Zhuge Liang: That's grammatically incorrect.  I do believe you mean, "Get YOU'RE rocket OFF OF my house!"  You really need to work on your spelling and grammar.

Jaxles: NOOOO!!!

Quote for tonight:

            _"Oh God, when thou made Zhou Yu, why did thou make Zhuge Liang?"_

                                                                     -Zhou Yu (Wu Kingdom)


	9. More rants, happiness, sadness, and perv...

Black Phoenix: SOOOO sorry for the lack of updates! I've been extremely busy with tournaments, school, Tekken 4, and my older cousin's funeral! Mahal na Mahal kita, kuya AJ...   
  
Xiaoyu: Sad, really...  
  
Black Phoenix: Yes. Now we should move on to tonight's questions. First is from Denise-chang. OO, sorry, that's your line, Xiao.  
  
Xiaoyu: Yeah, Now, first question's from Denise-chang...  
  
YAYYYYY!!!!!!! This is such a good fic. I hope FF.net doesn't trash it. I have another question for Xiaoyu:  
  
*Hey, if you could be another video game character, who would you want to be?*  
  
=)   
  
Xiaoyu: I would REALLY like to be Lei-Fang from Dead or Alive 2/3! She has cute clothes! I also wanna be Jill Valentine from the Resident Evil series! She's cool! She has a gun, different weapons, and cool clothes! Next one is from asbarbie300...  
  
Hi I'm asbarbie300 a adorable 10 year old.  
I have a few questions.  
  
1.xiaoyu would you mind if I call you ling?  
  
2.ask hwoarang would he be my boyfriend.  
  
3.xiaoyu do you watch dragon ball z?  
  
4.xiaoyu do you think trunks is cute?  
  
5.xiaoyu would you jin and hwoarang mind coming to a pajama party.  
  
well good bye for now.exspect to here from me soon. bye   
  
Xiaoyu: Well, asbarbie,  
  
1. Ling-Ling is fine.  
2. He says only if he could be the Ken doll...then he laughed and choked on a donut.  
3. Yes!  
4. Yes!  
5. I don't mind! I love parties! We'll see if Hwoarang wears chocobo print boxers! XD  
  
Black Phoenix: Cool...I heard Jin wears Dragon print boxers.  
  
Xiaoyu: Interesting...Next question's from Khali!  
  
Yay! Slurpie!!!  
  
Now then, Question: Who's the cutest guy in Tekken? I think Hwoarang is. Tae-kwon-do is the best. Also, what is your favorite fighting technique. (I personally like dwit-cha-gi [back kick]) Thank you for your time and slurpies!!!  
  
Xiaoyu: Glad you like the slurpie! I have lots. I like Jin, Hwoarang, and Steve. Hmmm...I know who would like Taekwon Do more than you...and it's not Hwoarang...  
  
Black Phoenix: Yo.   
  
Xiaoyu: Yes, her. My favorite fighting tech is Front Layout/ Back Layout! I do flips in the air!  
  
Black Phoenix: I personally like the twist kick(where you twist your foot outwards to kick someone on the outside), Axe kick (basically a drop kick like Hwoarang's), and Hunting Hawk! I can already the first two kicks! Side kick and back kick!  
  
Xiaoyu: That's nice...Now, next question's from White Boomerang.  
  
This is just getting better! HA HA! This time I have a question for Xiaoyu :  
1. Why do you like fighting?  
2. Which part of "Alien Saga" is your favourite?  
Fight for this fic!  
  
Xiaoyu: Hmmm...  
1. 'Cause it's fun. Plus, I can prove to the world that girls are more than preps that worry 'bout how "perfect" they're looks are and stuff like that! We can fend for ourselves!  
2. I really don't know...  
  
Black Phoenix: Yeah...I know whatcha mean.  
  
Jaxles: Good evening, Black Phoenix.  
  
Black Phoenix: ???  
  
Jaxles: Ever since Zhuge Liang crashed onto my house, I have become a sophisticated, and educated person.  
  
Black Phoenix: Wha?  
  
Jaxles: As you can see, I'm polite! I assure you, I no longer yell out profanities as I have in the past.  
  
Hwoarang: Give ''em a Vanilla Coke, that might help.  
  
Black Phoenix: Okay. *gives Jaxles a Vanilla Coke*  
  
Jaxles: *drinks the coke* Whoo! What the hell was that! *looks down* Oh my God! WTH am I wearing?! A Fancy shmancy rich guy suit?! *looks over at his box* OH MY GOD! MY BOX IS....CLEAN!!! DDAAAAAAAAHHH!!! *runs around wildly*  
  
Hwoarang: Told ya it'd help.  
  
Black Phoenix: Yeah.  
  
Xiaoyu: Now! Next question's from chandavatika.  
  
I hope this fic doesn't go down, because I have another question:  
  
Why does Julia wears such short shorts in her Tekken 4 ending?   
  
Xiaoyu: She's a skank. JUST KIDDING! She's one of my best friends! She finds it comfy, and she gets a tan on her legs while wearing something fashionable! A two in one deal!  
  
Julia: Yes, VERY comfy!   
  
Xiaoyu: Next question's from Tiger5913:  
  
*is an avid Xiaoyin fan - came up with the name pairing*  
  
Xiaoyu! What's up, my Chinese sister? ^_~ I have a couple of questions I'd like to ask: would you mind if I killed Hwoarang? 'Cause I hate reading fics that pair poor you up with that freak, as well as poor Jin getting put with him too. Some people are sick. Oh yeah, how's sex with Jin? LoL, I'm such a pervert. :P Go Xiaoyin!  
  
Xiaoyu: O.o...Oh my...I really wouldn't mind if you killed Hwoarang, but that might make Black Phoenix mad. Y'see, she used to like Hwa-hwa until she got her sights set on Jin-Jin. and also, her best friend Myung's going out with Hwa-Hwa. So that would just mess things up.  
  
Hwoarang: Come on! I'm sexy!  
  
Myung: Yes you are!!!  
  
Xiaoyu: ...SO anyways...How's sex with Jin? I really dunno...that really IS a perverted question...ask Black Phoenix about that one.  
  
Black Phoenix: He's good.  
  
Xiaoyu: There you go.  
  
Jin: Hmm...yes, B.P.'s good...at playing Tekken 4 too.  
  
Black Phoenix: ...  
  
Xiaoyu: NOW enough of perverted thoughts! I know what both of you are thinking!   
  
Jin: Then what?  
  
Xiaoyu: You, Jin-Jin, are thinking of a night with Black Phoenix.  
  
Jin: That was half right. I was thinking of spending the night at Black Phoenix's so we can play Tekken 4 and practice for her tournament.  
  
Xiaoyu: Oh. And YOU, Black Phoenix, were thinking the same thing?  
  
Black Phoenix: Half wrong there. You had the first thought right for me. A night with Jin-Jin.  
  
All: !!!  
  
Black Phoenix: What? You all act like you have no fantasies of your own! Come on Xiao, fess up! Who do you want to spen your life with?  
  
Xiaoyu: *mumbles*  
  
Black Phoenix: It sounded like Steve!  
  
Xiaoyu: *mumbles* That's because it IS Steve...  
  
All: !!!  
  
Xiaoyu: ENOUGH ALREADY WITH YOUR SICK MINDS! Next question's from Denise-chang...again!  
  
Wahhhh!! You're going to make this fic disappear??? NOOOOO!!!! that's so mean of ff.net to have this new rule.  
  
Xiaoyu, did you say you read a lot of Jin/Julia fics? If so, can you read mine? =)  
  
Supercool fic. Keep up the good work!  
  
Xiaoyu: Yes I do and will!  
  
Black Phoenix: I won't take it down. Just pray that FF.net doesn't.  
  
Xiaoyu: Next question's from Jes.  
  
Unfortunately, due to the nature of this chapter, we'll have to bear witness to my more serious side.I'm extremely pissed with how the bosses of ff.net have been running this site the past few months. Used to, we were free to write whatever we wanted, but now it seems like every week they're putting more and more restrictions to our creativity. They're no longer allowing us to have fun with our writing, and that's bullcrap. I say we all send an e-mail demanding that they put things back the way they were. And if they don't care enough about what their writers to take what we want into consideration, then to hell with it. I'm not going to be a part of a site that's going to be telling me what I can't do every 5 days. Jes has spoken.  
  
Black Phoenix: Xiao, lemme handle this. Author to author thingie. I understand how you feel, Jes. I hate these new rules too. And to kinda save this fic, I might hafta change the summary and the title. All of a sudden, all of my favorite fics are disappearing, because of the new rules. And they're mostly blooper fics! Bloopers are indeed a fanfic, because you use your imagination into what happens backstage behind a game, movie, or book. Also, Ask Blah Blah fics are kinda a fanfic. Think of it like a talk show, where you get to interact with other authors and even make new friends! Besides, you put your imagination on what's happening onstage. These new rules are just BS, and if they give out more stupid rules, I will indeed get really pissed. If I knew where they lived, I'd go beat some sense into them.   
  
Xiaoyu: (applause)  
  
Black Phoenix: Just stating my point.  
  
Xiaoyu: Next question's from NextBigThing1.  
  
*Holy crap, that was better than allllll the other chapters!!!  
  
Jaxles: Hey, NBT1, why does Black Phoenix always pick on me in every chapter??  
  
*Gee, I dunno, maybe because yer an idiot.  
  
Jaxles: Y'know, I think you're right....  
  
*This was a pathetic review....  
  
*NBT1 and Jaxles*  
  
Xiaoyu: Kikai, why DO you pick on Jaxles every chapter?  
  
Black Phoenix: I seriously don't know...  
  
Jaxles: It's because I'm adorable!!  
  
Black Phoenix: No you're not. Jin-Jin is.  
  
Jaxles: Hmph! You'll see! One day, you'll come running to me and saying "I LOVE YOU JAXLES!!!" repeatedly!  
  
Black Phoenix: *yawns* Yeah, whatever. I love Jin-Jin.  
  
Jaxles: YOU'LL SEE!! *gets pushed off a cliff*  
  
Black Phoenix: Thanks, Dante.  
  
Dante: No prob.  
  
Xiaoyu: Next question's from White Boomerang...again!  
  
This is great and very funny! I liked Your fights with Ling best! I hope You'll write something soon!  
  
Black Phoenix: Not exactly a question...Here's your chapter!  
  
Xiaoyu: Now, lastly from The Great Daryl.  
  
Hey, I'm glad you continued this fic. I'm also sad to see this one go, because of Fanfiction.net's new freakin' policy! THOSE BASTARDS! WHY!? WHY!!?? WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Ahem, sorry. Got carried away. Anyway, I look forward for your next fanfic! Have a nice day!  
  
Black Phoenix: No problemo, dude. I hate the rules too. Read the above with Jes.   
  
Xiaoyu: That's enough for tonight!!  
  
Black Phoenix: Yes, now to our...thing. My Taekwon Do tourney two weeks ago was a disaster for the Las Vegas team. We got beat by the people from California, and worse went for me. I was kicked TWICE really hard in the ribs, and they stopped aching two days ago. My older cousin, Albert Jerome Santos, or A.J., drowned in Manzanita Lake up in Reno. I had to skip school just to attend his funeral one Thursday morning here in Las Vegas. Sad? Yes. I turn 14 tomorrow! Yay! On Friday, since we have no school that day, we'll have my birthday party and a Tekken Tag/4 tournament. I'm buying the prizes with my own money! Oh! Halloween's coming up, so I'm making my own cosplay. I'm gonna be Hwoarang from Tekken 4. The white dobok. I also have to make Xiaoyu's Tekken 3 P1 outfit for my 5 year old sister. Now that that's taken care of, please R&R!!! 


	10. Even more rants, Lightsabers, and even m...

Black Phoenix: Yay! Another installment of Ask Ling Xiaoyu!   
  
Xiaoyu: She's disappointed cause she lost to her boyfriend, Zeus.  
  
All: HAHAHAAA!  
  
Black Phoenix: WAH! That's not funny!  
  
All: Yes it is! HAHAHAHAAA!!  
  
Xiaoyu: Well, that's beside the point. Th point s, buy more lollipops next year. I'm serious! She had lollipops as a party favor, and they were all gone a few minutes later!  
  
Black Phoenix: we have a special guest star today, the great and all powerful general of Shu from Dynasty Warriors 3, the most handsomest, most kawaii bishounen around, ZHAO YUN! Or Zhao Zilong...or whatever.  
  
Zhao Yun: Hello.  
  
Lu Bu: WHATABOUT ME?!?!  
  
Black Phoenix: You're an idiot. There.  
  
Lu Bu: Fine!  
  
Xiaoyu: Gawd! STOP BLACK PHOENIX!!!   
  
Black Phoenix: Hey, I brought Gan Ning, so shut up.  
  
Xiaoyu: Oh, Okay! ^.^   
  
Gan Ning: Hi.  
  
Xiaoyu: Okay! Moving along here! Our first question's from NextBigThing1:  
  
*Ahh, that was sweet! Jaxles, did you like that?  
  
Jaxles: OH DEAR GOD HELL NO!!!!  
  
*Why not?  
  
Jaxles: BECAUSE I GOT PUSHED OFF A DAMN CLIFF BY DANTE!! OOH, I'LL GET HIM! I'LL GET HIM GOOD!!  
  
*Oh, that reminds me, Jaxles actually has a question for this chapter. God, Black Phoenix, you may want to cover your ears....  
  
Jaxles: Black Phoenix, why? Why? WHY MUST YOU TREAT ME LIKE CRAP?! I'VE ALREADY GOT NBT1 DOIN' THIS, I DON'T DESERVE IT!! WAAAAAAAAHHH! THE WORLD DOESN'T LIKE ME!!!!!!!  
  
*Remember, Jaxles, violence is not the answer.  
  
Jaxles: But what if it's violence against Black Phoenix?  
  
*(glares)Now you know you should be nice to Black Phoenix. But I can't stop you from hurting Xiaoyu, so you should jump on that.  
  
Jaxles: Okay! (steals Baek's lightsaber and advances towards Ling)  
  
Baek: Hey, give that back!!  
  
*NBT1*  
  
Xiaoyu: *sees Jaxles with the lightsaber* Eep.  
  
Jaxles: NOW I'VE GOTCHA!!!  
  
Black Phoenix: The reason I treat you like crap is because NBT1 let me! Look in the early chapters.  
  
Xiaoyu: EEP!  
  
Jaxles: BWAHAHAHAAAA! *gets ready to stab her until...*  
  
Baek: That's him! That's the guy who stole my lightsaber!  
  
Police Officer: You're under arrest for Grand Theft Lightsaber and will be taken to court tomorrow morning. Come with me.  
  
Jaxles: NOOOOOOOOOO!!! *gets handcuffed*  
  
Xiaoyu: YAY! Now, next question's from asbarbie300:  
  
hi this is asbarbie300 again sorry if i'm asking too many questions.um ling can you ask jin if he can be my younger cousin ariels boy friend for at least a day?shes been bugging me for weeks to ask this.shes 9 so shes pretty annoying.  
  
question 2:heiahchi whats the deal with the sumo outfit on tekken for?  
(i just got it for my 11th b-day)  
  
question 3:jin are you really a wuss like every one says you are?i still think your cute but hwoarang still looks better.  
  
question 4:ling who is the best looking guy on dragon ball z.i think trunks.black phoenix what do you think?  
  
question 5:hwoarang can you ride me on your motercycle.since i'm too short to reach the handle bar.i'm 5 foot even  
  
Black Phoenix: hmmm...I think I can allow that...  
  
Jin: Sure, as long as I get donuts!!! ONLY FOR A DAY!!! I really don't wanna be known for dating a nine year old...  
  
Xiaoyu: The deal with the diaper is so he can win an "easy victory". More info on this is in Black Phoenix's FF7 fic, "The Stupid Show With Cloud Strife", nased on her cousin PJC's AWESOME comics!  
  
Jin: *reads #3* GASP! I'm not a wuss! That's just what THEY think! Hey, if I was a wuss, then why on earth would I join a FIGHTING tournament? Eh? Eh? Black Phoenix thinks I'M better looking than Korea over here. (A/N: I hope that's no offense to you Koreans reading this! My best friend's Korean, so there's no way in hell that I would diss Koreans!)  
  
Black Phoenix: Uhh...no comment.  
  
Hwoarang: AHAAAAHHHAAA!!! She thinks you wrong!  
  
Jin: *GASP* No!  
  
Hwoarang: Yes! HAHAHAAHAHA!!  
  
Black Phoenix: MOVING ON!!!   
  
Xiaoyu: Yes, we'll save that for backstage. Next question's from Jes:  
  
Hey, this fic's still alive! That means I can go back to being a dumbass! Yay! Okay, questions.  
  
Question #1: Isn't it amazing the things you can do with a Gameshark nowadays. For example, I've discovered the secret of eternal life by slamming a Gameshark disk into my skull. Now, whenever I meet someone they always ask why I have a CD sticking out of my forehead, and I always say, "It gives me infinite life." Don't ask why I shoved it in my skull in the 1st place, it's a long story.  
  
Question #2: Exactly, where did the term "thumb up my ass" come from. Was it really about a dumb, lazy guy with his thumb up his ass. It really makes you think doesn't it. Well, not really.  
  
Xiaoyu: Hrm...I've known Gamesharks as throwing objects at our daily Tekken Committee meetings. The "thumb up my ass" thing, I think it was Heihachi who started it. Jin told me one night that he saw Heihachi sitting on his hand...kinda makes ME think...eww...  
  
Black Phoenix: Interesting...That's kinda disturbing once you think about it...Moving on! Next question's from Denise-chang:  
  
Um....I'm soooo sorry if I'm irritating you with my reviews, but I just LOVE this fic! Okay... this November 2 Michelle's gonna throw a sleepover-videogame party! WOOHOO! Can Julia, Jin, Hwoarang, Christie, you and the rest of the characters to come? Oh yeah tell Jin my sis likes him, A LOT! She says she wants to get married... :O ::laughs:: yeah right...Just don't ask Brian, Wang, Lei and Heihachi to come 'cuz they're gross!  
  
Xiaoyu: No prob! And I'll be sure to tell Jin that. JIN!  
  
Jin: What now?  
  
Xiaoyu: Denise-chang's sis likes you.  
  
Jin: I feel honored! *marks tally*  
  
Xiaoyu: She also wants to marry you.  
  
Jin: ...Oh my...  
  
Xiaoyu: Don't worry, I'll make sure Grandpa, Uncle Lei, Brian, and Heihachi won't come!  
  
Black Phoenix: Next Question's from-  
  
Zhao Yun: While I'm here, what can I do?  
  
Black Phoenix: You can read the next letter if you want.  
  
Zhao Yun; Alright then. This next letter comes from asbarbie300:  
  
hi i'm back.tell hwoarang i'm only 11.  
  
black phoenix can you ask your friend can we share hwoarang i'm sure hwoarang wont mind.hahahahaa.  
  
question #1:do you think ken masters is cute from streetfighter alpha.  
  
question#2:tell hwoarang don't make fun of my age  
and can i get a ride on his moter cycle.  
remember he said he'll be my boyfriend.  
question#3:ask hwoarand and jin can they beat up my eight year old brother.  
  
p.s tell jin hes also cute  
(blows hwoarang a kiss winks eye)  
byefor now  
  
Black Phoenix: well, I asked Myung that, and she said she'll share Hwa-Hwa, ONLY for bike rides, and the occasional party. Nothing else. But she's VERY generous to have done that for you. Hwoarang feels kinda awkward, but he accepted. Okay, Hwoarang, she's only 11.  
  
Hwoarang: Okay.  
  
Black Phoenix: Do I think Ken masters is cute? Yes.   
  
Xiaoyu: It's all about Ryu here.  
  
Black Phoenix: ...No comment. Hwoarang won't make fun of you, he looks and acts like a jerk, but that doesn't mean he's...mean.  
  
Hwoarang: Damn straight.  
  
Jin: Before we can beat up your brother, you must give us a good reason to. No, 'annoying' and 'because he's a little prick' does not work. Black Phoenix has an annoying sister, but refrains to beat her up.   
  
Black Phoenix: Feel my pain...here.  
  
Jin: Her sister, for now known as Ni-Ning, constantly jumps on her, throws stuff at her, kicks her, and hits her in public for no apparent reason. Black Phoenix tries her best not to beat her up, but maybe hit her with a nearby pillow. Also, while having a phone conversation with Zeus, Ni-Ning got on the other line. For the entire 20 minutes given to them, 18 of those minutes involved Ni-Ning yelling, screaming, and more immature yelling.  
  
Black Phoenix: So true...  
  
Jin: Now that that's done, bye! *walks backstage*  
  
Xiaoyu: Gan Ning, you're next!  
  
Gan Ning: Good! This next letter comes from White Boomerang:  
  
That's it, Xiaoyu! We are not weak, we can be strong and we can prove it!   
I have 2 more questions:  
1. If You were to fight a traditional Chinese weapon, what weapon would that be?  
2. What do You think about Vegeta from DBZ?  
Do what You can to keep this fic here!  
  
Xiaoyu:   
1. I really don't get what you mean, I'm assuming you mean fighting with one. I would use the bladed fans. The fans are like the ones in DW3, but with blades at the ends. Black Phoenix could go buy one at the Swap Meet nearby.  
2. Vegeta's cool! Without him, there's no Trunks!!!  
I'll do what I can for this fic!  
  
Black Phoenix: I think I will go buy one!  
  
Xiaoyu: Remember: If you go out and buy the fans, you won't have enough money left for Kingdom Hearts!  
  
Black Phoenix: Oh yeah, you're right...*sighs* I'll just wait for more money...  
  
Xiaoyu: Good, save your money on good stuff you'll use, not weapons. Next letter's from Lillian:  
  
Great chapter! I don't really have any questions but I just wanna say that I'm happy that you continued this fic!! I keep reading this!  
  
Black Phoenix: Thanks! I'll be sure to make more chapters for your enjoyment, Lillian!  
  
Xiaoyu: Good! Next question's from The Great Daryl:  
  
I have a really good question! Did you notice that Namco always change Yoshimitsu's look in each Tekken game? In the words of The Hurricane from the WWE, I shall ask this question...WHASSUP WIT DAT!?  
  
Xiaoyu: yes, I did notice. Y'see, in fact, Yoshi's a fashion critic guy. He ALWAYS changes his style every game, to make himself look more interesting! Weird, huh? I hear for the next one, he might try the Superman suit. That's gonna be interesting...  
  
Black Phoenix: BWAAHAHAHA!!! Superman! I'd like to see him in a Sephiroth suit!  
  
Sephiroth: Did someone mention me?  
  
All: WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!!!!!! O.O  
  
Sephiroth: What? Something up my nose?  
  
Black Phoenix: YOU KILLED AERIS!!  
  
Xiaoyu: YOU BASTARD!!!  
  
Sephiroth: What? It's in my Evil Villain's contract! *shows them contract*  
  
Xiaoyu: I see...  
  
Black Phoenix: No matter! You're one of my favorite bishounen!  
  
Sephiroth: I see.  
  
Black Phoenix; Good! For that, can you read our last letter?  
  
Sephiroth: Sure. This last letter's from Aire Tame Guh...wait a minute...HUGE MATERIA!! I've been trying to get a hold of that thing for days now!  
  
Black Phoenix: AHEM!!!  
  
Sephiroth: Oh, right. This letter's from Aire Tame Guh:  
  
Yo word up, I'me Aire Tame Guh (and just for Ling-Chan I'm revealing the fact that it's Huge Materia spelt backwards.) Anyways, here's my questiong for Ling Xiaoyu:  
Has anyone ever told you how stunningly cute you are?  
  
Xiaoyu: Oh my, yes! ^#^ Lotsa people!! Including Sephiroth!  
  
Sephiroth: I didn't say any-  
  
Xiaoyu: INCLUDING SEPHIROTH!!!!!  
  
Sephiroth: Fine, including Sephiroth. Y'know what? I'll just blow this place up with Super Nova.   
  
All: NOOOOOOO!!!  
  
Sephiroth: YEEEEESSSS!!!  
  
Black Phoenix: Oh well, 'till next time...  
  
All: JA NE!  
  
Zhao Yun: What about us?  
  
Gan Ning: Yeah, what are we doing here?  
  
Zhuge Liang: Hello, boys...  
  
Zhao Yun and Gan Ning: AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!  
  
Black Phoenix: HAHAHAAA!!! Well, sorry for that lacked update, my party went well. My cousin and I won first place in our Tekken Tag Team Tournament! YAY!! But bad news for me...I lost to Zeus. Yeah...I'd rather not explain that right now. Well, we turned out all the lights in the backyard, put on glow sticks and bracelets, and started breakdancing to some Rave, Trance, and Techno music. Cool, huh? It was, until my friend hit the sprinkler! Hee hee! If you didn't know who Gan Ning, Zhao Yun, and Zhuge Liang were, I'll send you pics. BUT, if you don't know them HISTORICALLY, send me your email and I'll email you, along with my friends, histories of the Three Kingdoms Period of China. It's a little thing I'm starting 'cause my friends are real blockheads, not knowing of the histories and just following the game's profiles. With that said, I'm gonna go dl some mp3s. LATERZ!!!  
  
Quote for tonight:   
  
"The educated believe nothing, the uneducated believe everything."  
-Chinese proverb 


	11. Rapping, dirty magazines, jumping beans,...

Xiaoyu and Black Phoenix: Konnichi wa!  
  
Jin: Or Konban wa!  
  
Kazuya: Or ohayo!  
  
Hwoarang: Or Ahnyoung-haseyo!  
  
Black Phoenix: Kumusta!  
  
All: GREETINGS!  
  
Black Phoenix: I'M SOOO sorry for the lack of updates! My computer crashed and I had to reinstall it!  
  
All: BOO!  
  
Black Phoenix: But be happy now, since my creative Tekken Juices are up and running again!  
  
All: WOOO!  
  
Xiaoyu: All right then! Now, our first question for tonight is from Tiger Lily!  
  
hmm...antoher question...After you drink Dr. Pepper, why does your tummy feel all jumpy?   
  
toodles!  
  
-Rika  
  
Xiaoyu: I really don't know...OH JAXLES!!!  
  
Jaxles: *shuffles out from his box* Now what, your Hyperness?  
  
Xiaoyu: After you drink Dr. Pepper, why does your tummy feel all jumpy?  
  
Jaxles: Hmmm...*drinks Dr. Pepper* WHOA! I think they put special additives in this one! Oh crap, I've got the runs! *rushes to the nearest bathroom*  
  
Xiaoyu: I think it'll only happen to Jaxles...the poor fool...  
  
Black Phoenix: *drinks Dr. Pepper* Whoa man...are there jumping beans in my belly? Hello, little beans! Let's count you and see! One, two, three! WHEE!  
  
Xiaoyu: She's delusional...Now she's rhyming like some idiot from Sesame Street or something...Anyway, next question is from makaveli esco...  
  
Lol, good fic...very funny ^_^ Anywhos, I have a question for Xiaoyu: Who raps better, Jin or Hworang? Or...you? o_O And what do you think of Goten on DBZ??  
  
Xiaoyu: Me, of course! I'm better than these slackers anyday! #One, two, three, fo-our! Ed's gonna score mo-ore!#  
  
All: ...  
  
Xiaoyu: C'mon, it's Ed! Cowboy Bebop?  
  
Jin: I'm more for Gensomaden Saiyuki.  
  
Hwoarang: Me too.  
  
Kazuya: Ninja Ressurection! HELL YEAH!  
  
Black Phoenix: Mef, I don't care.  
  
Jin and Hwoarang: We are betta...RAPPAAHHS!  
  
Fan girls: WOOO!  
  
Jin: Here's a song we call "Hole-y O Tones."  
  
Hwoarang: 'Bout donuts, aight? Here we go! (beat box) #We jes' sittin', watchin' M-T-V, when all of a sudden I'm feelin' HUN-GRY. So I ask Kazama for mah fav'rite treat, but he bursts back, "Boy, you gonna get yo ASS beat!#  
  
Jin: A few kicks and punches, here and there, I swear our teeth were flyin' everywhere! The holey-o snack went on the windowsill...Oh my God, that bird took it...get me an Advil...#  
  
Hwoarang: #Then we all broke down, cried like wussies, and if you think we gay, then yo all a bunch of (BLEEP)!#  
  
Jin: #We broke a few teeth, broke a few bones.#  
  
Jin and Hwoarang: #All in all, those are our holey-o tones.#  
  
All: WOO!  
  
Xiaoyu: Yeah! For that second question, Goten is an adowable witlle kid! Yay! Now our next question is from Denise Chang!  
  
Black Phoenix: Didja hafta sound like a little kid?  
  
Xiaoyu: Yes I did!  
  
Oh, gosh that was SOO funny! I really liked it, especially...~mmph~ hahaha...so I'm sure by now you're annoyed, being that I review every single chapter! Hmm...questions for Xiao...  
  
1. Why do you like wearing your hair that way?  
  
2. Have you ever considered wearing it down?  
  
3. Why do you wear purple undies? ~hehe...sorry 'bout that~  
  
Xiaoyu: I'm not at all annoyed! Black Phoenix however...she's just boring.  
  
Black Phoenix: (sarcastically) Woot.  
  
Xiaoyu: Well, anyway...  
  
1. It fools my opponents!  
  
2. Yeah, but at least it won't puff up like Black Phoenix's when it's down.  
  
3. If I wore pink entirely, you'd think I was a Barbie.  
  
Black Phoenix: My hair's ALWAYS poofy when it's untied! That's why I ALWAYS wear it in a ponytail like Mirai Trunks! See the bangs! *points at the bangs*  
  
Xiaoyu: ...hey Jin, Hwa, what's with that BLEEP thing? You actually called them that?  
  
Hwoarang: Yeah, but let's just say that it's another word for cat, only in an offensive way.  
  
Xiaoyu: Oh...  
  
Heihachi: I can rap too! *takes out Scotch tape, wrapping paper, and a box* (wraps a present)  
  
Jin: Ojisan, that's WRAP, not RAP!  
  
Heihaci: That's what I said!  
  
Jin: We mean rap SINGING, not wrap PRESENTS!  
  
Heihachi: Oh ok! I get it! *puts on sunglasses and bling-bling* #Old man Hei in da house-#  
  
Black Phoenix: SECURITY!  
  
Dante: Coming! *throws Heihachi off a cliff*  
  
Black Phoenix: Arigato!  
  
Dante: No prob! *goes backstage*  
  
Xiaoyu: Next we have asbarbie300!  
  
hi i'm back!!!!i still have lots and lots of questions.  
  
question 1:hwooarang are you still going to be my boyfriend.  
  
question 2:ling do you have any brothers or sisters.if you do are they annoying.  
  
question 3:hwoarang what would you do if you caught yourself singing dora the explorer 's theme song in public?  
  
question 4:ling all my friends think julia looks better then you what do you think about that.they think you look fat.hahahahaha.  
  
question 5:all my friends say hwoarang looks way better then jin except one(the 9 year old).i personaly think hwoarang looks better so what do you think?  
  
question 6:hwoarang is your hair natrualy red.i love the hair color!!!^^  
  
BYE FOR NOW.  
  
Hwoarang: I dunno, I'll hafta ask Myung first.  
  
Xiaoyu: No, but Black Phoenix is kinda my sister...ish. She's annoying.  
  
Black Phoenix: Am not!   
  
Xiaoyu: Her sister is.  
  
Black Phoenix: Damn right! Look at her, playing Dynasty Warriors 4...I can beat her! She thinks she's all good...OOH! =.=  
  
Hwoarang: I'd shoot myself. Singing in public... *sighs and shakes his head*  
  
Xiaoyu: . They're fat! OO! Just kidding! I'm better looking than Julia!  
  
Julia: Hey!  
  
Xiaoyu: Kidding! We both look good!  
  
Julia: yeah! Boys line up at our doors!  
  
A line of boys are...lined up to Nina  
  
Nina: Who should I shoot first?  
  
Boys: Me! Me! Not you, pick me!  
  
All: ...  
  
Xiaoyu: I don't care, I like Steve!  
  
Steve: Hey, love. *eats a crumpet* ::CHOKE:: Help...  
  
Jin: What? Korea looks better than... *points at himself* KAZAMA?!  
  
Hwoarang: HAHA! Let the people have what they want...ME! HAHAHA!!!  
  
Myung: Oh yeah!  
  
Jin: *wails on Hwoarang's ass*  
  
Hwoarang: *retaliates*  
  
Xiaoyu: HWA-HWA!  
  
Hwoarang: *stops fighting* What?  
  
Xiaoyu: You need to answer her last question!   
  
Hwoarang: *sits down* It's not natural. Look closely and you'll see black roots. LOOK AT MY PICTURE! Glad you love the hair! ^_^  
  
Jin: *sits down* ^_^  
  
Hwoarang: Why are you happy?  
  
Jin: Black Phoenix gave me a donut!  
  
Hwoarang: Oh. *cough*Queer!*cough*  
  
Xiaoyu: Next question's from NextBigThing1!  
  
*Sorry, BP, but I had to bail Jaxles out.  
  
Jaxles: WHOO HOO! I LOVE YOU, NBT1!! (hugs NBT1)  
  
*Ahhhh, get offa me, damnit! (slaps Jaxles)  
  
Jaxles: You really don't know how much I appreciate it. Do I still hafta go to court?  
  
*So sorry to say, but you do.  
  
Jaxles: Crap....  
  
*And what kind of question was that last chapter, Jaxles?! The answer is at the beginning of the damn story, dumbass.  
  
Jaxles: Okay, lemme try again. (thinks)  
  
Jaxles: All right, Black Phoenix, here's a good question: Why didn't you help me outta my refrigerator when Jin and NBT1 did what they did in the Lunch Money story?! Don't you care about meeeeee?! At least I agreed to play a part in this damn fic, I should get something in return....  
  
*Note that he said "something". If I were you, BP, I'd give him a Tae Kwon Do hat. I don't know if those exist but just make it anyway....  
  
*NBT1 & Jaxles*  
  
Black Phoenix: Mef, you needed a new house, so I let you stay there. Besides, if I was in the Lunch Money story, I would try to be with Jin the entire time! *wink wink*  
  
Jin: *gulp* *blush*  
  
Black Phoenix: *giggle* Now, I'll agree with NBT1. *takes out a black Taekwon Do hat and her white Korean bandanna* Take your pick.  
  
Jin: I wanna play! I pick the hidden option!  
  
Black Phoenix: ...Heh?  
  
Jin: Y'know, those RPG's have secret hidden options in the text.  
  
Black Phoenix: ...OOOHHH!! Here! The secret hidden option is this "fun" box!  
  
Jin: Oh no...  
  
Black Phoenix: Mags galore! Here we have "Girl Next Door" from FF8, Cosmo, and more! I don't read these nasty books, so have fun!  
  
Jin: *takes Cosmo, reads Kama Sutra* !!!  
  
Xiaoyu: GET A ROOM!  
  
Jin: Okay! *grabs Black Phoenix by the hood, choking her*  
  
Black Phoenix: GWAAH!  
  
(both go backstage)  
  
Xiaoyu: Hmmm...It was just a figure of speech. Oh well, last question's from Forevermore!  
  
Well, ask Ling  
  
who is her favourite Tekken 4 character???  
  
Xiaoyu: I like Me, Myself, I, Steve, Jin, Hwoarang, Julia, Lee, Steve again, Marshall Law, Kazuya, Uncle Lei, Panda, Christie, and Violet! I know he's Lee, but I don't care! He's still cute!  
  
Black Phoenix: *comes out from backstage, looking very unkempt* He's 48!  
  
Xiaoyu: So? You think so too!  
  
Jin: *comes out from backstage, also not looking presentable* You think my uncle's hot?!  
  
Black Phoenix: Not really.  
  
Jin: Oh, okay.  
  
Hwoarang: What happened? Let it all out? Eh? Eh? *nudge, nudge*  
  
Jin: Hell no! She's 14! We were having a war in her dressing room and-  
  
Hwoarang: It must've been a "hot" battle!  
  
Jin: We turned over tables, threw stuff around-  
  
Hwoarang: WOO!  
  
Jin: You sick freak! WE PLAYED WAR!!!!  
  
Hwoarang: WOOOO!!!  
  
Black Phoenix: *slaps Hwoarang* Sick bastard! Look at the security camera!  
  
(screen)  
  
Black Phoenix: Heehee! Now what?  
  
Jin: Uhh...  
  
Black Phoenix: *seductively* Close your eyes...  
  
Jin: *gulp* *blush*  
  
Black Phoenix: *goes behind Jin and grabs his pants*  
  
Jin: Oh God...  
  
Black Phoenix: *pulls his pants down really fast* HAH! You've been pantsed!  
  
Jin: Why you! OOF! *trips* (pulls up his pants) *grabs a nearby pillow and hits Black Phoenix square in the face*  
  
Black Phoenix: Hey! *throws a powder puff*  
  
Jin: *turns over a table and hides behind it*  
  
Black Phoenix: *hides behind a couch*  
  
::both throw random objects at each other::  
  
(back to the stage)  
  
Hwoarang: I didn't know you could lift AND throw an anvil!  
  
Black Phoenix: Hey, I work out.  
  
Jin: Told ya. WAR.  
  
Hwoarang: Sorry.  
  
Kazuya: Hey! She's bad-ass! Marry my pansy of a son and make him a bad-ass like me!  
  
Black Phoenix: Sorry. I'm too young and I'm still in school.  
  
Kazuya: Drat. Who cares? He can help with homework!  
  
Jin: DAD! I'm not a pansy!  
  
Kazuya: Shut up, you!  
  
Jin: *shuts up*  
  
Kazuya: Okay, then. Marry Jin!  
  
Black Phoenix: No.  
  
Kazuya: Yes.  
  
Black Phoenix: No.  
  
Kazuya: Yes.   
  
Black Phoenix: No!  
  
Kazuya: Yes!  
  
(an hour later)  
  
Black Phoenix: NO!  
  
Kazuya: YES! And a free bottle of Surge!  
  
Black Phoenix: Done!  
  
Kazuya: Good! Jin, meet me in my office. We shall discuss your wedding and ways of becoming like me.  
  
Jin: Dead?  
  
Kazuya: No, but keep that up, you will be.  
  
Jin: *gulp*  
  
Black Phoenix: Okay, let's wrap this up.  
  
Xiaoyu: Bye-bye!  
  
Black Phoenix: Ingat ka! (Tagalog for farewell to you and take care!)  
  
Kazuya and Jin: Sayonara!  
  
Hwoarang: Ahnyoung!  
  
Dante: 'Til next time...  
  
All: Ja ne!  
  
Black Phoenix: Ahh..I missed this fic! Sorry for the lack of updates, but my computer was down since early November, and I got it fixed around February or something. I had to reinstall it, so I lost all the fics I've been working on! Well, I'm working on new cosplay for this year. I'm Zhao Yun (Dynasty Warriors 4) and my sister's Da Qiao (same game). I've been busy working on "3 Star Dynasty" over in the Dynasty Warriors section! New fics from me (which I have to retype...ugh...):  
  
"The Young and the Helpless"- Devil May Cry  
  
"Pop Princess Yuna"- Final Fantasy 10  
  
"Middle School Nightmare"- Dynasty Warriors  
  
"My Resting Place"- Resident Evil  
  
"President Evil"- Resident Evil  
  
Yup, yup. Well, I'm also working on manga, so...yeah. Later! Oh! My new site on brinkster will be up! Thanks Usara for the layout!  
  
Black Phoenix =^.~=  
  
Quote for tonight: "War is cruel. The crueler it is, the faster it ends." -My Kuya Francis (Yep. My eldest cousin...Damn you and you Lancer!) 


End file.
